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Politics : Discuss the candidates honestly. -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: tonto who wrote (1671)	7/11/2004 1:01:57 PM
From: Bob	Read Replies (4) \| Respond to of 4965

Hello. My name is John Kerry and I'm running for President, I think. Please consider my qualifications as set forth in the following resume. RESUME OF JOHN F. KERRY RESIDENCE: * Seven mansions, including Washington DC, worth multi-millions. EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE: College: * I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. * Unlike my counterpart George Bush, I have no higher education and did not get admitted to Harvard or graduate with an M.B.A Military: * I used three minor injuries to get an early discharge from the military and service in Vietnam. I then returned to the US, joined Jane Fonda in protesting the war, and insulted returning Vietnam vets, claiming they committed atrocities and were baby killers. * I threw my medals, ribbons, or something away in protest. Or did I? My book "Vietnam Veterans against the War: The New Soldier" shows how I truly feel about the military. PAST WORK EXPERIENCE: * I ran for U.S. Congress and have been there ever since. * I have no real world experience except marrying rich women and running HJ Heinz vicariously through my wife Teresa. ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS US SENATOR: * I set the record for the most liberal voting record, exceeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton. * I have consistently failed to support our military and CIA by voting against budgets, thus gutting our country's ability to defend itself. * Although I voted for the Iraq War, now I am against it and refuse to admit that I voted for it. * I voted in favor of every liberal piece of legislation. * I have no plan to help this country but I intend to raise taxes significantly if I am elected. I make no or little charitable contributions and have never agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in MA, despite family wealth in excess of $700 million. * I voted to cut every law enforcement, CIA and defense bill in my career as a US Senator. * I ordered Boston to remove a fire hydrant in front of my mansion, thereby endangering my neighbors in the event of fire. * Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted Kennedy and I oppose windmills off Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard as it might spoil our view of the ocean as we cruise on our yacht. RECORDS AND REFERENCES: * None. PERSONAL: * My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, George Bush, that he will never catch up. * I ride a Serotta bicycle ($2000-$6500). * My Gulfstream V Jet I call "The Flying Squirrel." * I named my $850,000 42 foot Hinckley twin diesel yacht the "Scarmouche. * I don't own any SUVs but my family does, including one parked at my Nantucket summer mansion, though I am against large polluting inefficient vehicles and blame George Bush for the energy problems. * I am fascinated by rap and hip-hop and you had better listen to it as it reflects our real culture. PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004. _________________