Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Clown-Free Zone... sorry, no clowns allowed -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: orkrious who wrote (290988)	7/14/2004 6:50:18 PM
From: ild	Respond to of 436258

There are three guys stranded on an island with a bunch of cannibals. The cannibals catch the men and make them a deal. The cannibals say, "If you guys can find 10 different kinds of fruit and bring them back to us, we will not kill and eat you." One man brings back oranges. The cannibals say, "Now you have to stick those ten oranges up your ass and not make a sound for us not to kill you." The man gets one in and says that it hurts, so the cannibals kill him. The next guy comes and he has cherries. The cannibals tell him the same thing. The man get nine of the ten in his ass and he starts to laugh so the cannibals kill him. When the man goes to heaven the first man asks him, "Man why did you laugh you almost had them all in !" The second man replied, " I seen the last guy coming with pineapples !" A guy wanted to spice up his romance with his wife, so he went to Victoria's Secrets in search of some sexy lingerie. He found something really nice, purchased it and brought it home to his wife. His wife took it by surprise, but went up to try it on. When looking in the mirror she noticed it was see through. She came slowly down the stairs. The husband looked up and exclaimed, "Damn, for all that money, at least they could have ironed it..." A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood curdling scream is heard from the bathroom. A few minutes after that, another loud screams reverberates through the bar. The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is screaming. "What's all the screaming about in here? You're scaring the customers!" "I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my balls." With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says, "You idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!" What's the extra skin around a penis called? A man. An old man aproaches a prostitute and says, "How bout' a little fun?" She replies, "How old are you?" "85" says the old man. "You already had it." says the Hooker. "How much do I owe you?" asks the old man. A ship sinks and the only survivors, a nun and two priests, are stranded on an island. After two weeks, the nun is so ashamed of what she's been doing that she kills herself. Another two weeks go by and the priests are so ashamed of what they've been doing that they bury her. Two weeks after that, they're so ashamed of what they've been doing that they dig her up again. A guy walks up to a girl in a club, looks down at his watch, and says, "My magic watch says you're not wearing any underwear." The woman replies, "Well your magic watch must be wrong." He responds, "Must be an hour fast!" A female with no arms or legs was in her wheel chair crying on the warf. A nice gentleman asks, "Why are you crying?". She replies, "No one will have sex with me". The nice gentleman picks her up, tosses her in the water and says, "There... now you're fucked". What do fat women do in the summer time? STINK! Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills. Why did God create blondes? Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge To a blonde, what is long and hard? Grade 4. What is the definition of the perfect woman? A deaf and dumb blonde nymphomaniac whose father owns a pub. Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning? It swells at night. A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces. How do men exercise at the beach? Every time they see a bikini, they suck their belly in. Why do lawyers wear ties? To hold their foreskin down.