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Politics : SI Member Vote 2004/SubjectMarks Only For Bush -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: JakeStraw who wrote (672)8/16/2004 10:21:27 PM
From: CYBERKEN  Respond to of 812
 
CYBERKEN ADVISES JOHN KERRY!

What Kerry needs to recover before the SwiftBoat Vets torpedo his campaign: A new "Checkers" speech---

I would like to assure the American people of the following:

1) I did the best I could in Vietnam, and-like any sane person-got my ASS out of there as fast as I could. My four months of service have nothing to do with this campaign, and it was a GRAVE ERROR, that I TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR, centering my campaign around a 30-year-old dubious record of service in a long-ago war.

2) I refuse to be afraid of my life and career since I returned. I present you with a political opportunist who will AID and APPEASE the Islamic enemy, TAX you into RUIN, and send in the barbarian hordes of tort lawyers-one of whom is my RUNNING MATE-to grab whatever is left.

3) I don't give a HOOT IN HELL about: Social Security welfare queens, Medicare, African Americans, national security, Yucca Mountain, or any private sector PUKE who creates jobs for anyone-OTHER THAN how I can propagandize them and FOOL them into voting for me. Pay attention, and you will hear me tell them WHATEVER they WANT TO HEAR, even if I contradict myself.

THAT is as HONEST as I have EVER been in my LIFE, and you can bet your ASS it's a one-time-only event.

I humbly ask for your support on November 2.

Hey John: NO CHARGE! Your friend, CY...