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Politics : Proof that John Kerry is Unfit for Command -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: American Spirit who wrote (1427)	8/20/2004 8:49:50 AM
From: Andrew N. Cothran	Respond to of 27181

GIGANTIC CANDY MACHINE INVASION CONFIRMED, AMERICA CLOSE TO SUBMISSION 5/24/04 UNITED STATE OF AMERICA, Earth A coalition of social scientists and economists has confirmed that the United State has been invaded and nearly conquered by a race of evil candy machines. Detailed research by the private scholars indicates that a gigantic Mother Ship has been ensconced in Washington, DC, for approximately sixty years, disguising itself as a nondescript government office building. The massive spacecraft contains no discernable intelligent life forms but appears to have been programmed to give out various kinds of treats and goodies on command. Meanwhile, hundreds of thousands of smaller candy machine drones have been systematically positioned in smaller government offices throughout the country, doling out treats and goodies to a substantial portion of the population through the use of stiff humanlike cyborgs. It is believed that the cyborgs pose as government agents in order to lull their victims into subservience. It is also believed that a devious plan to conquer the nation by making a majority of its citizens dependent on the well-hidden candy machines may be nearing its climax. All citizens are warned not to take anything from any suspicious candy machines or from stiff humanlike cyborgs posing as government bureaucrats. No information has been released, however, suggesting how to tell the difference between the cyborgs and actual government bureaucrats. ©2004 RealStupidNews.com