To: Elroy Jetson who wrote (23426 ) 8/20/2004 6:54:19 PM From: Wyätt Gwyön Respond to of 306849 Dearest Pru, Love your work; need your help. My brilliant boyfriend and I have been together three years and lived together for two. We are both in grad school working on advanced chemistry degrees. (We know; we're nerds.) We're exceedingly happy together and plan, after grad school, to get married and bring some little nerds into the world. My problem is this: I've been thinking about buying a house in this area for the duration of grad school, as I have good credit and would like to build up some equity, but my scientific significant other practically loses his lunch whenever I bring this up. I realize it would be a big step for us to buy a house, but we already live together, have a dog and a cat, and are committed to each other. This would make financial sense for us, and I'd really like to be able to spend our monthly housing money on a house rather than a landlord. I bring it up every so often just to test the waters, which are getting less chilly, but he still evinces quite a bit of hesitation. How can I decrease his trepidation? —Domicile Dreamer Dear Dom, You might tell your brilliant boyfriend that every month, when paying the rent, you feel as though you're watching H2O trickle down the drain. He may tell you that it might not be so smart to become mortgage-holders in a town where you do not plan to stay. As strong as your personal chemistry may be, the marriage thing may have him spooked, or at least the part about buying a house before you're actually married. Try one more serious, unemotional discussion, state your financial case, and then let it go. A cat, a dog, and a commitment may be all that your boyfriend can handle at this time. —Prudie, conversationallyslate.msn.com maybe the boyfriend just reads this thread.