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Politics : Proof that John Kerry is Unfit for Command -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: American Spirit who wrote (1512)	8/20/2004 11:23:04 AM
From: Andrew N. Cothran	Respond to of 27181

SHOCKING TRUTH ABOUT SEAN HANNITY, HOWARD STERN UNCOVERED BY REALSTUPIDNEWS 03/26/04 NEW YORK, New York Our RealStupid reporter has uncovered a shocking fact about radio personalities Sean Hannity and Howard Stern--the two hosts, though diametrically opposed in style and outlook, are actually brothers who share an intense sibling rivalry. In fact, they are two of three fraternal triplets born during a long cab ride between Franklin Square, Long Island, and Jackson Heights, New York, that lasted from December 30 until January 12 due to unbearable New York City traffic. (RealSean, RealStern @ geocities.com) While both Hannity and Stern deny their kinship, neither can explain the uncanny resemblance they both bear to the third triplet, Shemp Howard III, named for the triplets' grandfather, the famous fourth stooge in the Three Stooges. Court records reveal that Hannity changed his name from Schmendrick Howard to Sean Hannity at the beginning of his college radio career at New York University, while Stern changed his name from Schlomo Howard to Howard Stern at the outset of his radio career at Boston University. Neither wanted to be associated with the other or to ride the coattails of their famous family. Schmendrick, Shemp, and Schlomo Howard enjoyed a brief career in the shadows of their grandfather and great uncle, Shemp and Moe Howard, as "The Three Stupid, Dumb, Moron Idiots," but quickly went their own ways due to redundancy and bitter creative differences. The similarities between "Hannity" and "Stern" go well beyond bloodline and appearance, however: Hannity hosts the flagship show for WABC radio in New York, while Stern hosts the flagship show for WNBC radio, also in New York. Hannity was fired after just one week at his first radio job, while Stern was fired after just one program at his first radio job. Hannity has released two bestselling books, Let Freedom Ka-Ching and Deliver Us From Evel Kneivel, just as Stern has released two bestselling books, MessedUp America and Private Farts. And in homage to their famous stooge ancestry, Hannity has a homely, inarticulate sidekick named Muttering Colmes, just as Stern has a homely, inarticulate sidekick named Stuttering John. Tragically, Shemp Howard III now works as a fact checker at The New York Times. ©2004 RealStupidNews.com Visit www.RebelHoller.com to read the web's most stinging satire of the Clintons, Those Arkansaw Bumkins or, A Gremlin In His Goober, which was NOT written by Dick Morris, we swear... Check out www.dwtoons.com to see Sean and his ventriloquism dummy as drawn by Charles Stouff