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Politics : Don't Blame Me, I Voted For Kerry -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: CalculatedRisk who wrote (44917)	8/24/2004 4:54:24 PM
From: JeffA	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 81568

Careful, I thought that accusation was reserved for Clinton...

To: CalculatedRisk who wrote (44917)	8/24/2004 4:56:30 PM
From: redfish	Respond to of 81568

The Bush Rape Story Is the Media Ignoring Zippergate 2? by SEAN CARTER There is a story floating around the Internet that is being ignored by the mainstream press. Normally, this would be a good thing because, le's face it, information from the Internet is about as reliable as an airline's baggage handling department. For instance, just last week, I received another e-mail from someone claiming that Bill Gates would give me all of his money if I forwarded the e-mail to ten friends. Nevertheless, the story in question is 100% accurate. In fact, anyone with a computer and a modem can verify the story by downloading court documents. However, the accuracy of the story does not seem to be enough for the media. Apparently, this story does not meet its threshold of "responsible journalism." Fortunately, if you've ever read my column, then you know that I am neither professional nor a journalist. Therefore, I will be happy to break the story for you. President Bush is being accused of rape. This allegation is part of a lawsuit filed by a Texas woman, Margie Schoedinger. According to the complaint filed on December 3rd in Fort Bend County, Texas, the President and his men are accused of repeatedly kidnapping, drugging and raping Mrs. Schoedinger and possibly her husband. No, I am not making his up. To be honest, I'm not nearly this creative. If I were, I'd be a novelist and not a humorist. According to the complaint, in the fall of 2000, three unknown assailants attempted unsuccessfully to kidnap Schoedinger. When she reported the crime to the Sugar Land Police Department (remember, I'm not making this up), she was harassed by the police. She was treated similarly by the FBI. To make matters worse, her bank accounts were frozen, her husband lost his job, her academic records were expunged and she became the subject of 24-hour surveillance. According to the complaint, this treatment was orchestrated by none of than the President of the United States. Schoedinger claims that Bush is attempting to pressure her into committing suicide. Of course, you may be asking why would the President do such a thing? Well, according to the plaintiff, she personally asked Bush the very same question. Bush allegedly replied that he is concerned that Schoedinger may remember the numerous and repeated acts of sexual assault he has committed against her and her husband. His original plan was to simply kill the plaintiff. But since he couldnt go through with it, he decided to simply drive her crazy instead. In her lawsuit, Schoedinger is asking for $50 million for "emotional distress, loss of freedom and ability to pursue Plaintiff's own dreams, alienation of affection from Plaintiff's spouse, loss of privacy, being disparaged on the Internet, and loss of Plaintiff's ability to be a Christian writer." counterpunch.org