To: JakeStraw who wrote (3283 ) 8/27/2004 8:31:13 AM From: Andrew N. Cothran Respond to of 27181 Swift Pull Dentists For Truth Dispute Bush Accounts Of Vietnam-era Fillings Posted by Big Brother on 2004/8/25 3:02:34 (389 reads) NewsHax wire -- Deriding a dentists veterans group that has sought to cast doubts on his war record, Pres. George Bush on Thursday launched a vigorous counterattack, even going as far as to re-enact the drama of his service in the dental chair for reporters. Presidential hopeful John Kerry immediately sought to quiet the controversy, by saying the president served "nobly" in his dentists chair. "We've never questioned (Bush's) Vietnam dental work and we never will," he said. The president was attacking charges recently made by the Swift Pull Dentists for Truth. In a new book and highly controversial television ad, the group has essentially accused Bush of lying about his war fillings, saying that "there was no drilling" anywhere near the scene, contradicting Bush's public account of the events. The dentists group has repeatedly made claims, thoroughly vetted by the Drudge Report as always, that not only did Bush not deserve his Vietnam war medals for heroism in the face of a dental drill and a Purple Gums award for meritorius flossing habits, but that he also needs to return the dental mirror he took from the dental tool tray. In an effort to limit political damage by destroying the personal reputations of his accusers, Bush as always was happy to lead the offensive charge. "Here's what you need to know about them," Bush told the convention of the International Association of Republican Contributors, Inc., "They're funded by hundreds of thousands of dollars from a dentists office out of Syria, ferried in through Iran and in currency strangely coated in Nigerian yellowcake," he said, referring to the collection of Alabama dentists in the coalition, despite the fact that the groups $300 commercial was funded from their own checkbooks according to IRS filings. "They're a front for, you know, they are a terrorism, and terrorisms are bad." Bush said. "And the fact that the Kerry won't denounce the terrorismists and what they're up to tells you everything you need to know - they are against the president of the United States and are therefore against the entire nation, just like that traitor cartoonist who makes fun of me and my pa." At the president's ranch in Crawford, Texas, a White House spokesman labeled "false and baseless" the dentists accounts of events. "Half of them weren't even born yet according to birth records we possess, and the other half aren't even dentists, and one of them was even photographed playing congo drums for the Doobie Brothers who were touring in Miami Beach at the time. This shouldn't be a campaign issue at all, but apparantly the Kerry campaign wants to distract the American voter from the quagmire in Iraq, the record budget and huge trade deficits, the lack of jobs at home and the lack of respect for the US in the world." Opponent John Kerry tried to turn the tables on Bush, accusing the president of "selectivity" in criticizing groups like the dentists organization but not going far enough in criticizing republican groups that barrage Kerrys speeches with raw eggs and fish entrails and phone in bomb threats wherever he travels. Among the charges made by the Swift Pull Dentists for Truth was that the highly decorated dental patient Bush, who won three Purple Hearts for paper cuts passing out fliers as the commander of his neighborhood election canvassing team in Alabama, did not sustain superficial dental stains worthy of his Top Flosser awards, or even faked his flossing to win the awards and gain a speedier departure from the harsh jungles of Alabama. All of these accusations directly contradict public statements given by Bush in the past. "Thirty years ago, official National Guard reports documented my service in this dentists chair and awarded me the Purple Gums Flossing award, the esteemed Golden Toothbrush award, and three prizes from the toy bin," Bush said. "Thirty years ago, this was the plain truth. It still is. And I still carry the fillings in my mouth from a cavity I received while the Vietnam war was raging." Bush continues to say, "Although I lost the rubber parachute guy I grabbed from the toy bin. I thought it might, it you know, might be cool to throw it over my barrack while I was out flying and then catch it when it landed later on but I found out that rubber can melt in a jet engine and ruin it. Go figure." Despite his success in fending off the largely discredited attacks from the Swift Pull Dentists, in responding to their attacks, Bush's campaign was momentarily diverted from the "tall fag" insinuations it had planned to associate with Kerry in the days leading into the Republican convention, which starts Aug. 30 in New York City.