Please note that Texas is the ONLY state in the US with a legal right to secede from the Union ( Refer to the Texas-American Annexation Treaty of 1848..it will shock ya...).
But ya know.....Us Texans love y'all to pieces, but we're gonna have to take action if Kerry is selected as President over George "Dubya" Bush. We might miss yall a little bit, maybe...then again...maybe not....
But, FYI....us Texans have given all those complainers and finger throwers and pointers.. plenty of time to get used to the results. After seeing all those whiners along the campaign route, us citizens of Texas are seriously considering taking matters into our own hands....Yes Sir..it's like...Remember The Alamo...all over again...
Here is our solution...........
#1: Let Ol' John Kerry become President of the United States. (all 49 of what's left.....).
#2: Then...our good buddy, George "Dubya" Bush will become the President of the Republic Of Texas... "But how are you Texans gonna survive as a Republic..?" you scoff and ask....
We're glad yall asked......
1. NASA ...it is just a mile or two south of Houston (We'll control the space industry....)
2. FYI.....We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States....You aint sweatin' yet, are ya...??
3. Defense Industry. (we have over 65% of it) Does the term "Don't mess with Texas," ring a bell with yall ??.....that phrase will take on a whole new other meaning.....Just like they say on TV... "Texas...it's a whole other country"
4. Oil or "Awl" as we like to call it....We can supply all the 'awl' the Republic of Texas will ever need for the next 300 or more years. You Yankee states..... Lordy....we're sure sorry about that.
5. Natural or Nat'chul Gas - Again we have all we will ever need cause the largest and most productive gas wells in the world are here....and it's too bad about those northern states. Yall ever heard...."Cut off th' gas and freeze a Yankee's Ass"??... Ol' John Kerry will figure a way to keep yall warm, won't he...??.
6. Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation in producing computer chips and communications: Them little ol'places like Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Semiconductor, Dallas Semiconductor, Delphi, Nortel, Alcatel, etc., etc. Woooo, Hey yall...I'm runnin out of breath....and the list goes on and on and on and on.......
7. Health Centers - We have the largest research centers for Cancer research, the best burn centers on the planet and the top trauma units in all the world and other new and large health planning centers, that are growing every day....
8. We have enough colleges & universities to keep us going til the end of time...: UT, Texas, A&M, Texas Tech, Rice, SMU, TCU, University of Houston, Baylor, UNT, Texas Women's University, Southwestern U., St. Edward's, and a bunch of others..... Ivy grows better in the South anyway...aint it pretty...??
9. We have a ready supply of workers. (just open the border when we need some more...Se habla Espanol......yall....)
10. We have control of the paper industry too, plastics, insurance, etc. etc. you name it....
11. In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard and the Texas Air National Guard standing by... We don't have an army but since everybody down here owns at least six rifles and a big pile of ammo, we can raise an army in less than 24 hours if we need it....and if the situation really gets bad, we can always call in the Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over a couple of those Texas Rangers....talk about kickin' butt and takin' names.....Whew...Yall don't wanna mess with those boys....
12. We are totally self sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs and several types of grain, fruits and vegetables and let's not forget seafood from the Gulf. Everybody down here knows how to cook all that stuff too, so that they taste good....Reckon we don't need any food.
This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic Of Texas in pretty good shape. There aint a thing out there that we need or don't have already.....
Now to the rest of the United States under President Kerry: Since yall don't have sufficient refineries to make gas for your cars, only President Kerry will be able to drive around in his 9 mile per gallon SUV. The rest of the United States will have to get used to walkin' or ridin' bikes....Yall ever ridden' in a Hummer...?? Yee Hawwww
Yall won't have any TV, as the Johnson Space Center in Houston will cut off all yall's satellite communications. Yall won't have any natural (natchul..??) gas to heat your homes but since Mr. Kerry has predicted severe global warming, yall aint gonna need that gas anyway......
Hey, what do yall think about lettin' them Cajuns over in Louisiana be annexed to Texas...they're a fun bunch of people....They need all the Help they can get too
Signed....
The citizens of the Republic of Texas
Yall have a nice day...yall |
