Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Politics : The RIGHT Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Lazarus_Long who wrote (4)	9/12/2004 9:07:02 PM
From: sandintoes	Respond to of 33

Dan Rather of CBS news was seated next to little Tommy on the plane when Rather turned to the boy and said, "Let's talk, I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passengers." Little Tommy, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to Rather, "What would you like to discuss?" "Oh, I don't know" said Rather, "How about politics? Should we keep Bush as president or elect Kerry?" "OK" said Little Tommy, "That could be an interesting topic but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out flat patties, and a horse excretes clumps of dried grass. Why do you think that is?" "Jeez" said Rather, "I have no idea." "Well then" said Little Tommy, "How is it you feel qualified to discuss who should run this country when you don't know shi#? "

To: Lazarus_Long who wrote (4)	9/12/2004 9:15:43 PM
From: sandintoes	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 33

Whitey was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers called pullets and eight or ten roosters whose job was to fertilize the eggs. Whitey kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of Whitey's time so he got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so Whitey could tell from a distance which rooster was performing. Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells. Whitey's favorite rooster was old Brewster, and a very fine specimen he was too! But, on this particular morning Whitey noticed old Brewster's bell hadn't rung at all. Whitey went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing! The pullets, hearing the roosters coming would run for cover. But, to Whitey's amazement, Brewster had his bell in his beak so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and then walk on to the next one. Whitey was so proud of Brewster that he entered him in the county fair...... and Brewster became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result......... The judges not only awarded Brewster the "No Bell Piece Prize", but they also awarded him the "Pullet Surprise" as well. Conclusion........ Clearly, Brewster was a Democrat. Who else could figure out how to win two of the most politically biased awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populous and screwing them?