Men are from Mars, John Kerry is from Paris
October 13, 2004
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by Jim Manion
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With about 3 weeks to election day, John Kerry continues to be a carefully constructed Hollywood façade. We see what the Demoncratic Candidate wants us to see. His innocuous 20 year Senate career reveals little about the man other than he is the Avis of liberal lawmakers behind Ted Kennedy. He has yet to authorize the release of all his military records (at last count, there were over 100 pages that were not public). His new age spouse has refused to release all of her tax records, which is significant since she is Kerry's keeper (we did get a glimpse into the taxes she paid relative to her income - at the 12.8% rate, less than the percentage paid my the middle class). Kerry has never authorized the release of the files the FBI accumulated on him during his Winter Soldier days. The files on his divorce from his first wife remain sealed. The files on his current wife's inheritance from Republican Senator John Heinz remain sealed. Records on his claim to have completed the Boston Marathon are conspicuously non existent. He remains largely a man of mystery. Just who is this guy that a large part of the American public think is fit to be President of the United States?
Since we have been denied the opportunity to look at any documentary evidence that may shed some light into Kerry's past, we are forced to judge John Kerry based on what we see. We cannot base any judgment on what we hear, since Kerry has more positions than the Kama Sutra.
John Kerry throws a baseball like a little girl. He needs to hang around the US Women's Softball Team for some pointers. In an unscheduled appearance at a Boston Red Sox game this summer, Kerry was given the honor of throwing out the first pitch. Standing a good 10 feet in front of the pitchers mound, which cut his throwing distance from 60 feet 6 inches to 50 feet, Kerry limp wristed a throw that hit the dirt about 10 feet from home plate. I played baseball. I know baseball. Senator Kerry is no Roberto Clemente.
John Kerry catches a football like a little girl. Grimacing even at a marshmallow toss to him, Kerry winces and closes his eyes as the football approaches him. He is obviously anticipating pain. His aides know better than to zip one into his gut. I played football, I know football, and Senator Kerry is no Jerry Rice.
John Kerry was on the debate team in college. Now, this is not a bad thing, but it is not a Mars thing either. Kerry's tongue is obviously well exercised, but as for the rest of him, well...
John Kerry uses servants to help him wind surf. He gets them to drive him out into the ocean in a $50,000 boat and follow him as he tries to demonstrate his manliness in a spandex-fitting wetsuit. A note to the Senator - I am not a windsurfer, but the cold water off Nantucket does little to boost one's display of male virility, if you get my drift.
John Kerry joined the Navy. Not to trash my squid comrades in arms, but there is no other service that has a white uniform. And except for the Navy SEALS, few in the Navy can comprehend the joy of catching a few winks snuggled in the mud during a torrential downpour. I guess 4 months in one of those 50 foot boats was enough.
The day of the first Presidential Debate, while President Bush was touring hurricane-ravaged areas, John Kerry was at a spa having a relaxing manicure. A manicure.
John Kerry believes in equal rights for men and women, and has no problem marrying for money. He has almost single-handedly created the moniker "Sugar Momma". And the sweet irony is that he has attached himself like a leech to an estate built by an ardent capitalist family which was bequeathed upon his death to his spouse, by a Republican.
John Kerry speaks fluent French.
John Kerry has had botox injections to make him look better (but he does need to do something about those bolts in his neck);
John Kerry does not get haircuts. He undergoes styling sessions.
John Kerry has no idea what it takes to run a business and create jobs without taxing those that run businesses and create jobs to transfer revenue to the federal government which doles out money for no work. If given the chance, I am certain that John Kerry would have run a small business before he decided not to run a small business.
John Kerry cannot shoot or throw. Two of his three of his Purple Hearts were the result of shooting a grenade launcher that did not even make it to the shoreline and throwing a hand grenade into a cache of rice - within hand grenade range.
John Kerry does not consider a coalition to be a coalition without France. I guess you never want to go to war without an ally with a good supply of white flags. Just in case.
John Kerry demands sensitivity in dealing in matters of war. After you battle with an adversary, it is important to send flowers.
John Kerry selected a running mate less masculine than John Kerry. In the Vice Presidential Debate, Edwards' must have batted his eyelashes thousands of times. And those hands, so soft, so gentle.
And here are a few things we can presume based on the foregoing facts:
-John Kerry has never told Theresa to "pull my finger";
-John Kerry has few, if any, broken bones (Vietnamese rice embedded in one's posterior does not count);
-John Kerry has no idea of what it means to be the breadwinner in the family. Maybe the bread baker, but not the breadwinner;
-John Kerry does not have a favorite beer;
-John Kerry has never ridden a bull;
-John Kerry has never tipped a cow;
-John Kerry has never told Mamma T that her butt looks too big in an outfit;
-John Kerry does not know how to use a chain saw without killing himself or someone around him;
-John Kerry has not spent less than $25 on a haircut in the last 20 years;
-John Kerry never had a student loan, let alone one it took 10 years to repay;
-John Kerry has never tested the theory that the human generation of methane can be inflammable;
-John Kerry has never worn the pants in his family, relying instead of the right bank account, at the right place, at the right time;
-John Kerry has a French flag tattooed on his buttocks (per John Edwards).
Men are from Mars. We are simple creatures. We are wired in a simple way. What we lack in sensitivity, we make up for in courage and resolve. What we lack in shopping skills, we make up for in providing for our family. What we lack in patience, we make up for in not resting until all is well. What we lack in verbal communication skills we make up for by being the rock of the relationship when things are not right. We will protect our families and our country with our very lives. And we will do so without a second thought, and despite protests from home.
We are always accountable and responsible for all of our obligations, real and perceived. Not as a matter of pride, but as a matter of honor. We get embarrassed when people speak of our accomplishments. We do not brag nor embellish about ourselves; we know what we have done and who we are. We do not equivocate and we do not pander. We are honest, sometimes to a fault. If you don't want to hear the answer, don't ask the question.
Some of us have survived the feminist movement intact. We resist emasculation, yet we will give in to small displays of love for our mates on occasion, like holding their purses in a crowded mall; by taking care of their vehicles without them knowing; or by telling them we love them more than anything after a prized collection was mistaken for trash and sent to the dump.
We are pensive, keeping our thoughts to ourselves, yet we are firm in our convictions. We marry for love, and secretly admit that a union is never our choice-it is the woman who chooses us. We are loyal to a fault. We understand, maybe after some time, that the differences between men and women are like night and day, yet our areas of weakness are filled by the strengths of the opposite sex. We are very different, but our differences compliment our respective areas of vulnerability. We realize that our union can lead to a whole exceeding the sum of the parts.
John Kerry is not from Mars. And while his running mate is most assuredly from Venus, Kerry is from a different place. A place where a man can be a man without being a man (or be a man before he became a man). A place where the male persona no longer exists, being replaced by an asexual multicultural template. A place where what a man says is more important than what he does. A place where appearance trumps substance. A place where words hypnotize and style rules the day. A place that insures the financial equality of all, no matter their contribution to society or their efforts. A place which recognizes the world owes you, rather than you owing the world.
The place is a socialist utopia. Pay for everyone, equal for the good and the bad. There is no incentive for achievement - the ones that work harder carry the ones that do not work. It is an honor for the government to take close to half of all earnings, for more social engineering. The place is France. Where men have lost all respect for themselves, and French women love it.
Men in the United States are indeed from Mars. Men in France, as far as the ruling class goes, have created their own emasculated regime. They are incapable of throw anything except insults. If it is not high praise, they cannot catch it. Politics dictate your status in life. The common man in France still holds firm, but he is being taxed into oblivion. The elitists in France remain in power, for now. Until the time that the Islamic male emerges into power in France.
Kerry is not from Mars. He is from Paris. His quote of a global consensus means French approval. Approval from the same ruling class that was bribed by Iraq into first loosening sanctions, and then vetoing the Iraq invasion. After some major payments to bribe French officials, a high ranking French official assured Saddam that he had a French veto over any Security Council resolution to go to war with Iraq. Kerry had the concept of the coalition of the bribed and coerced down pat. Kerry's problem is that he had the direction reversed.
Yes, gay Paris. A place where religion is secondary to hedonism. A place where morality is intentionally undefined. A place where the mores of the 1960's govern - if it feels good do it; live and let live; socialism is progressive; government knows best.
Kerry is the antithesis of the American man. Arnold Schwarzenegger's epitome of a "girly man". He is the ultimate panderer. He is the ultimate male whore. John Kerry respects nothing except for his keepers money and what Jacque Chirac thinks.
Kerry is from Paris. Edwards is from Venus. America needs a man from Mars. |
