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To: bentway who wrote (24668)	10/19/2004 2:03:33 PM
From: fatty	Respond to of 306849

>For the vast majority Chinese, it would be unthinkable to abandon their parents, to leave them to their own devices. I think when China implements the kind of elderly benefit programs we have in the US, most Chinese will abandon their parents without a second thought. My maternal grandmother has been practically living in hospitals, nursing homes, and rehabilitation centers for the past 5 years. If her children were to shoulder all the costs, I'm sure they'd have bankrupted many times over.

To: bentway who wrote (24668)	10/19/2004 3:01:29 PM
From: George8	Respond to of 306849

That's mostly true. But the Chinese parents have worked all their life merely for the sake of their children. They would have bought or transferred the title of their home to the children...

To: bentway who wrote (24668)	10/20/2004 3:46:08 AM
From: Amy J	Respond to of 306849

Chris, RE: "The elderly parents often live with the children, or are maintained by them. " The biggest mistake some of my Asian friends make, is incorrectly assume their parents will not need a MEDICAL facility. In fact, some are rather insulted if you ask them about LTC because in their mind it equates to dumping their elderly - when the real issue is they are completely ignorant to the medical needs of older people. I ask them, how good are you with handling a life support system that requires a medical doctor? Ignorance will create a lot of undue pain for some of my Asian friend's parents, when they find out they will need to come up with $6,500 / month to get the care they need for one parent in a nursing home. (That's how much it costs in Manor Care, Los Altos, CA, back when I checked into this.) I know someone that neglected to buy LTC insurance for their parents because they believed they would always be able to take care of their parent. Well, they ended up paying $6k per month in cash after their Mom had a stroke. Homes are not equipped with hospital medical equipment for serious stroke victims so even if you WANT to keep your parents at home, you cannot always. And guess what? Because they didn't have LTC insurance, they were considered a "risk" so they were placed at the bottom of the waiting list for the good nursing homes. I think they eventually put her in a San Jose nursing home which wasn't as good due to the waiting list for the good ones. Meanwhile, they had a mortgage, kids about to go to college, an unemployed wife, then the husband ended up getting sick from the stress of the financial situation and so he lost his health. They had to sell their house. Ate up their retirement money. The whole family went down hill. All because they neglected to buy LTC insurance. Horrible situation. I know of one guy that was shipped out of the area to a nursing home far away from his family (about 100+ miles) because his insurance refused to pay for his nursing care here in the Bay Area where he lived. Of course he died without his daily family visits. He was a teacher in Palo Alto, CA too, but the school's insurance sucks. Regards, Amy J