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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Justin C who wrote (65626)	10/25/2004 11:41:21 AM
From: Rambi	Respond to of 71178

The Church groups are a good idea since he is still a practicing Catholic. When a little time has passed, I'll mention it to him. I talked to him last night and he was getting right back to work and staying very very busy. This is how he would handle things. He's a DOER like Carole. Where I would just sit and stare into space. In fact, I did that a lot last week. I will say that I have started organizing our papers and getting together all the info the boys would need if something happens to us. We have been very lax about that. Dan hates talking about things like death and avoids it. I remember when my father was dying, that some of his men friends absolutely could NOT bring themselves to visit him in the hospital. They would send their wives, who would chat with my mother, apologize for their husbands ("he just can't stand hospitals"), and say a few cheerful things to my father, who would roll his eyes at us. No one likes dealing with death, but women seem to be more practical about it. Southern women have a Martha Stewart approach-- they decorate it and serve it up tastefully, doing all the right things. I found it very consoling when my mother died-- knowing exactly what was expected, what would happen. I woke up the morning of the funeral in her home, hearing the twitters of the churchwomen downstairs in the kitchen as they got ready for the after the service reception, and I knew what would happen every moment of that day and what my role was. Then I remembered why it was happening, and I fell apart and Dan ruined my reputation permanently by going down to get me a cup of coffee and pouring a big shot of bourbon into it- right in front of all those church ladies- without a word of explanation. He could have at least told them I didn't start EVERY day that way.