Best of the Web Today - October 27, 2004
By JAMES TARANTO
Snivel Discourse
Bill Clinton was campaigning in Philadelphia the other day, and he had this to say: "If one candidate is trying to scare you and the other is trying to get you to think, if one candidate is appealing to your fears and the other one is appealing to your hopes, you better vote for the one who wants you to think and hope."
It's hard to argue with that. So, who is the candidate of hope, and who is the candidate of fear? For an answer, we turn to Slate, the online magazine, which asked each of its staff and contributors to make the case for Kerry (an intern provides the pro-Bush counterpoint). Reading their endorsements, a clear theme emerges:
Paul Berman: "The prospect of tumbling down the stairs for four more years has got me scared out of my wits. Better Kerry, then."
Kris Fritz: "If Bush gets re-elected, I might have to change citizenship and move to another country."
Mickey Kaus: "I think Bush is prosecuting the fight against terrorism in a way that will make us dramatically less safe. . . . Let the world calm down so that fewer people hate us."
Laura Kipnis: "The rest of the world sees Bush for exactly who he is, which unfortunately ups the danger level for all of us."
Josh Levin: "If Kerry gets elected, the world will be just a bit less dangerous, and I'm all for baby steps away from mutual assured destruction."
Jill Hunter Pellettieri: "I fear what another four years of Bush's myopic worldview would bring to our country and the world."
Laurie Snyder: "Another four years with Bush-Cheney at the helm is a terrifying prospect."
Seth Stevenson: "The Bush administration frigging TERRIFIES me. . . . They literally make me fear for the fate of the world."
Louisa Herron Thomas: "I wish I didn't fear for the safety and health of myself, my country, and my planet. Under Bush, I do."
Julia Turner: "I think Bush is bad for the country and the world--and for me. He has put my lungs at risk. He has put my reproductive rights at risk. He has put my retirement at risk. He has put my friends at risk, by sending them to Iraq on false pretenses. He has put all of our lives at risk."
It seems clear, then, that when Clinton urged Americans to vote for the candidate of hope not fear, he was endosring President Bush. But ostensibly he was campaigning for Kerry; this photo depicts Kerry as a teenager excited that he's standing next to a rock star. Oh well, Clinton always had a talent for making people on all sides think he agreed with them.
Other Than That, He'd Make a Great President--I
"I know few people enthused about John Kerry. His record is undistinguished, and where it stands out, mainly regrettable. He intuitively believes that if a problem exists, it is the government's job to fix it. He has far too much faith in international institutions, like the corrupt and feckless United Nations, in the tasks of global management. He got the Cold War wrong. He got the first Gulf War wrong. His campaign's constant and excruciating repositioning on the war against Saddam have been disconcerting, to say the least. I completely understand those who look at this man's record and deduce that he is simply unfit to fight a war for our survival. They have an important point--about what we know historically of his character and his judgment when this country has faced dire enemies. His scars from the Vietnam War lasted too long and have gone too deep to believe that he has clearly overcome the syndrome that fears American power rather than understands how to wield it for good."--Andrew Sullivan, endorsing John Kerry, The New Republic, Oct. 26
Other Than That, He'd Make a Great President--II
"I can't remember ever voting for anybody I disliked as much as I do John Kerry, at least not for president, but vote for him I will. I didn't have much use for Al Gore either, but I don't remember any real sense of hostility before punching the hole next to his name. . . . I can't persuade anybody to vote for a candidate for whom I can muster so little enthusiasm, but there must be an awful lot of people out there who are going to cast votes next week for Kerry who are, like me, discouraged by the prospect and needing one of those you-are-not-alone talks."--Mark Brown, endorsing John Kerry, Chicago Sun-Times, Oct. 27
Other Than That, He'd Make a Great President--III
"I remain totally unimpressed by John Kerry. Outside of his opposition to the death penalty, I've never seen him demonstrate any real political courage. His baby steps in the direction of reform liberalism during the 1990s were all followed by hasty retreats. His Senate vote against the 1991 Gulf War demonstrates an instinctive aversion to the use of American force, even when it's clearly justified. Kerry's major policy proposals in this campaign range from implausible to ill-conceived. He has no real idea what to do differently in Iraq. His health-care plan costs too much to be practical and conflicts with his commitment to reducing the deficit. At a personal level, he strikes me as the kind of windbag that can only emerge when a naturally pompous and self-regarding person marinates for two decades inside the U.S. Senate. If elected, Kerry would probably be a mediocre, unloved president on the order of Jimmy Carter."--Jacob Weisberg, endorsing John Kerry, Slate, Oct. 26
Anybody but Bush
It's easy to mock guys like Sullivan, Brown and Weisberg for their anybody-but-Bush attitude, but at least they're not alone, as Borzou Daragahi reports from Baghdad:
Leaders and supporters of the anti-U.S. insurgency say their attacks in recent weeks have a clear objective: The greater the violence, the greater the chances that President Bush will be defeated on Tuesday and the Americans will go home.
"If the U.S. Army suffered numerous humiliating losses, [Democratic presidential nominee Sen. John] Kerry would emerge as the superman of the American people," said Mohammad Amin Bashar, a leader of the Muslim Scholars Association, a hard-line clerical group that vocally supports the resistance.
Resistance leader Abu Jalal boasted that the mounting violence had already hurt Mr. Bush's chances.
"American elections and Iraq are linked tightly together," he told a Fallujah-based Iraqi reporter. "We've got to work to change the election, and we've done so. With our strikes, we've dragged Bush into the mud."
Daragahi writes for a variety of newspapers, including the Toronto Globe and Mail, Seattle Times, New Orleans Times Picayune, Newark Star-Ledger and Boston Globe--but only the Washington Times seems to have picked up his report about the terrorists plumping for Kerry.
Synchronized Spinning
During the summer, the Kerry campaign claimed, without evidence, that the Bush campaign was illegally "coordinating" with the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth. Now it appears the Kerry campaign is coordinating with the New York Times. Consider:
On Monday, the Times published an article (since largely discredited) claiming that tons of powerful explosives were "missing" in Iraq, and it was President Bush's fault.
On Tuesday, the Times "reported" that "Mr. Bush never mentioned the disappearance of the high explosives during a long campaign speech in Greeley, Colo."
Today, the Times quotes Kerry as saying yesterday in Green Bay, Wis.: "What did the president have to say about the missing explosives? Not a word. Complete silence."
Meanwhile, yesterday the Kerry campaign released a new advertisement that prominently displays the New York Times' Monday headline.
The Monday Times article was partly reported by people from CBS's "60 Minutes," which is known to have coordinated with the Kerry campaign in the past.
One of the authors of Monday's Times piece is David Sanger. In July, Kerry told the Times: "I believe if you talk with Warren Hoge or you talk to David Sanger, you talk to other people around the world, they will confirm to you, I believe, that it may well take a new president to restore America's credibility on a global basis so that we can deal with other countries and bring people back into alliances."
The news media, of course, are exempt from the campaign finance restrictions on coordinating with campaigns. This column fervently supports that exemption, and indeed we think it should be extended to cover everyone else. But as a journalistic matter, it's bad form for a newspaper--and especially its news department, as distinct from the editorial page--to work on behalf of one candidate.
Kerry Aides for Bush
The Boston Globe reports that Dick Holbrooke, a likely secretary of state in a Kerry administration, drew cheers in Florida--for praising President Bush:
"I'm not here to criticize President Bush," Holbrooke, a former United Nations ambassador, told hundreds of members of the American Israel Public Affairs Committee, or AIPAC, a major pro-Israel lobbying group, gathered for their annual summit. "His support for Israel is, in my mind, unquestionable."
The crowd--to Holbrooke's chagrin--offered rousing applause. "That was not," he said wryly, "supposed to be an applause line."
Jews traditionally vote heavily Democratic, but there's reason to think Bush may do better among them this year than he did in 2000:
A poll by the American Jewish Committee conducted at the end of August indicated 69 percent of respondents favoring Kerry, 24 percent supporting Bush, and 3 percent supporting Independent candidate Ralph Nader. Another 5 percent said they were undecided. Bush won 19 percent of the Jewish vote nationwide in 2000.
Not a big shift, to be sure, but in a close race, every little bit counts. As blogger Jay Cost notes, "South Florida alone has 500,000 Jewish voters. If Bush does 5% better with Jewish voters, that could be a net 17,500 votes in South Florida." Four years ago Bush carried Florida by 537 votes.
Coalition of the Coerced
"Hundreds of public schoolchildren, some as young as 11, are taking time out of regular classes to canvass neighborhoods in Milwaukee, Madison and Racine in a get-out-the-vote effort organized by Wisconsin Citizen Action Fund--a group whose umbrella organization has endorsed John Kerry for president," reports the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel:
The coalition says the effort is non-partisan, but because the group is targeting minority neighborhoods and those with historically low voter turnout--overwhelmingly Democratic areas--Republican operatives are crying foul amid the highly charged political atmosphere in the state. . . .
"They are exploiting schoolchildren on the taxpayers' dime to conduct what is clearly a Democratic, partisan get-out-the-vote effort," said Chris Lato, communications director for the Republican Party of Wisconsin. "To spend this time on a clearly partisan effort when these kids should be in school learning is shocking. It's a disgraceful use of taxpayer money."
Well, of course, this is an outrage--but what does it say about the strength of the Democrats' support that they can't find enough volunteers and have to resort to exploiting children in this way?
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Dems Gone Wild
"A Sarasota [Fla.] man was arrested on an aggravated assault charge Wednesday after he was accused of trying to run down U.S. Rep. Katherine Harris and a group of supporters with his car," the Associated Press reports. Harris, of course, was Florida's secretary of state when Al Gore tried to steal the 2000 election:
A silver Cadillac sped toward the group at a Sarasota intersection Tuesday evening, then swerved at the last minute before driving off, according to police. Witnesses gave the car's license plate number to police, and they tracked it to Barry M. Seltzer, 46.
"I intimidated them with my car," Seltzer told police. "I was exercising my political expression." The Smoking Gun has a copy of the police report and Seltzer's mug shot.
We once heard a prominent Democrat put the case for his party this way: Would you rather belong to the party of waste or the party of hate? We'd say he got it backward.
Quoth the Raven, 'Read My Lips'
"Senior Bush Champions Poe in Congress Race"--headline, Houston Chronicle, Oct. 26
What Would Girls Who Take Pride in Promiscuity Do Without Experts?
"Girls Who Take Pride in Promiscuity Face Dangers, Experts Say"--headline, Milwaukee Journal Sentinel/Knight Ridder Tribune, Oct. 27
Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are
Conservatives at UCLA held a "Coming Out Day" Monday, "to galvanize and mobilize conservatives for next week's election," in the words of the head of the Bruin Republicans. Not everyone was pleased, reports the Daily Bruin:
Some students felt naming the event Coming Out Day was inappropriate since it appeared to have been taken from a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender event and used in a manner different from what it had been originally intended.
"The title Coming Out Day undermines the purpose of the LGBT community's Coming Out Week. This event makes a mockery of the entire community," said Miguel Chavez, a third-year history graduate student.
Not all UCLA gays are as humorless as Chavez. Ronni Sanlo, director of LGBT Campus Resource Center, tells the paper: "Imitation is the sweetest flattery, and LGBT Coming Out Week must be very effective for another organization to want to copy it. It's a great idea."
Just So There Wasn't a File in the Cake
"A judge threw a party complete with balloons, streamers and a cake to welcome a former fugitive back to her court--and sentence him to life in prison," the Associated Press reports from Dallas:
"You just made my day when I heard you had finally come home," Criminal Courts Judge Faith Johnson told Billy Wayne Williams, who had been convicted in absentia of aggravated assault after he disappeared a year ago. "We're so excited to see you, we're throwing a party for you."
Williams, 53, who has a criminal record dating to the 1980s, was accused of choking his girlfriend until she passed out. He failed to appear for his trial last November and was captured Thursday at a gas station in suburban Arlington.
Before he was brought into the courtroom on Monday, the judge directed staff members as they placed balloons and streamers around the courtroom. A colorful cake was decorated with his name and one candle to signify the year he spent on the lam.
"It seems like everyone wants to have a party, and it's fun for you people, but not for me," Williams told Dallas-Fort Worth television station KDFW as he was led away in handcuffs.
Someone, break out the world's smallest violin. After all, we doubt getting choked was fun for Williams's girlfriend. But Seana Willing of the Texas Commission on Judicial Conduct says she's troubled. "It's the kind of thing I look at and scratch my head and wonder, 'What was she thinking?' " Party pooper! |
