Best of the Web Today - November 15, 2004
By JAMES TARANTO
The Dregs of Puritanism
Here's a follow-up on the story we noted Friday about the famous photo of a smoking Marine: The Los Angeles Times reports he is Lance Cpl. James Blake Miller, a 20-year-old native of Jonancey, Ky. Times photographer Luis Sinco snapped the picture that has turned Miller into something of a sex symbol:
The Los Angeles Times and other publications have received scores of e-mails wanting to know about this mysterious figure. Many women, in particular, have inquired about how to contact him. "The photo captures his weariness, yet his eyes hold the spirit of the hunter and the hunted," wrote one e-mailing admirer. "His gaze is warm but deadly. I want to send a letter."
Blake complains that he's running low on cigarettes: "Tell Marlboro I'm down to four packs, and I'm here in Fallujah till who knows when. Maybe they can send some. And they can bring down the price a bit." Miller smokes three packs a day, and the company medic, Anthony Lopez, tells the paper: "I tried to get him to stop--the cigarettes will kill him before the war. I get on him all the time. But this guy is a true Marlboro man."
Lopez is right, of course, but that doesn't make Linda Ortman any less ridiculous. Ortman's scolding letter appeared in the Dallas Morning News Thursday (third letter):
Are there no photos of nonsmoking soldiers in Iraq?
We are all aware of how important it is to help people stop smoking because of health risks.
Please, Dallas Morning News, be more sensitive. Youth are easily influenced. Let's stop reinforcing the smoking habit. Stop publishing photos like the one on the front page Wednesday.
The next day, a wonderful reply came from Steven Mitchell (third letter):
As an ex-smoker and ex-Marine, I have to agree with Ms. Ortman about how easily our youth are influenced. As soon as I made it home Wednesday afternoon, my 10-year-old asked me to take him to buy a pack of Camels and find the nearest recruiter's office. And, please, can't we get them to wash their faces first?
In truth, I'm amazed that you printed that nonsense.
The fuss over smoking warriors is nothing new. In 1917 G.K. Chesterton published an essay called "The Dregs of Puritanism" about a minister in Bromley, England, who was objecting to people sending cigarettes to British soldiers fighting World War I:
There is the lack of imaginative proportion, which rises into a sort of towering blasphemy. An enormous number of live young men are being hurt by shells, hurt by bullets, hurt by fever and hunger and horror of hope deferred; hurt by lance blades and sword blades and bayonet blades breaking into the bloody house of life. But Mr. Price (I think that's his name) is still anxious that they should not be hurt by cigarettes. That is the sort of maniacal isolation that can be found in the deserts of Bromley.
These days, of course, fanaticism over hygiene is a largely secular phenomenon. Indeed, one wonders if some of those who're offended by Cpl. Miller's vice won't soon be complalining that this photo violates the separation of church and state.
Why They Hate Us
If cigarette-smoking Marines aren't outrageous enough for you, check out this letter to the editor of the Portland (Maine) Press-Herald from one Florence White (last letter):
Am I the only one who finds the idea of sending candy to Iraqi children not only not brilliant but insensitive, offensive and stupid ("Kids offered sweet deal on candy," Oct. 29)?
The candy is not good for our children's teeth but OK for kids who probably have no access to dentistry?
Can you catch just a glimmer of why Americans are so hated in other parts of the world?
Maybe the Iraqis would like us if we forced them all to go to the dentist.
Arafat's Legacy
Yasser Arafat's death was doubtless a necessary condition for peace between Israel and the Palestinian Arabs, but a look at the news of the past few days suggests it'll be far from suffucient:
Before the helicopter carrying Arafat's coffin landed in Ramallah, the Washignton Times reports, "loyalists from Mr. Arafat's Fatah party held a series of rallies that reflected the growing militancy among young Palestinians. 'Bin Laden, do it again,' the Fatah cadres yelled through red-and-blue megaphones. 'And wipe out Israel.' 'There are some heroes among traitorous Arab leaders,' they yelled. 'One is Saddam, and Arafat is another.' "
In Israel's capital Saturday night, "several dozen Arab teens waving PLO flags pelted stones at Hadassah University Hospital," reports the Jerusalem Post.
The Post also reports that "Fatah gunmen on Sunday evening stormed a mourning tent in Gaza City and opened fire to protest against the presence of the PLO's Mahmoud Abbas and former security minister Muhammed Dahlan." Two Palestinian "policemen" were killed. Meanwhile, Agence France-Presse reports that European Union presidency "said it is 'very satisfied' with steps being taken by the Palestinian Authority for a smooth succession of power."
The Associated Press reported Saturday that Marwan Barghouti was mulling a run for the Palestinian Authority presidency, though yesterday's Ha'aretz suggested a Barghouti run was unlikely. The AP explained that "many analysts believe Barghouti would have the best chance of unifying disparate Palestinian factions, reining in violence and possibly restarting peace efforts with Israel." Just one wee problem: Barghouti is in prison for life for five murders.
A USA Today editorial last week offered an apt metaphor to describe Arafat's misrule: "What he leaves behind is the equivalent of a family wrecked and abused by a drunken father, yet unsure how to proceed without the authority figure who has dominated their lives for so long."
Arafat won a Nobel Peace Prize in 1994.
Weasel Watch
"Several French municipalities governed by communist and left-wing majorities are considering naming a street or a square after Yasser Arafat," the Jerusalem Post reports. In fairness, we should note that the French are far from unanimous:
The French police intelligence service, Renseignements Generaux, reportedly warned the Ministry of Interior that such initiatives might trigger heated polemics and tensions between Jews and Muslims, especially neighborhoods ridden by ethnic violence.
Somehow this reminds us of that joke about how Germans like to march in the shade.
The Associated Press, meanwhile, reports that Slobodan Milosevic, erstwhile dictator of erstwhile Yugoslavia, took time out from his war-crimes trial to send "a letter of condolences to the Palestinians."
'Shameful Disease'
The cause of Yasser Arafat's death remains a mystery, with more news outlets raising the AIDS theory. "Palestinian and French authorities have refused to disclose any information on Mr Arafat's ailments, serving only to encourage talk that he suffered from anything from stomach cancer to Aids," reports the Times of London. "Some Arafat supporters believe that he may even have been posioned by the Israelis."
The Jeddah, Saudi Arabia-based Arab News notes coyly that "Another rumour making the rounds in the region, especially in the West Bank, [Friday] was that Arafat had died of a 'shameful disease' that the French did not wish to reveal not to sully his memory. But PLO leaders have dismissed that as baseless."
From Israel Insider comes this speculation: "Israeli sources suggest that a quiet deal was made in which Israel would not reveal Arafat's HIV/AIDs illness--reportedly well-known in intelligence circles--in exchange for Palestinian officials scotching claims of poisoning." Consistent with this theory (although not proving it), both Nasser al-Kidwa, the Palestinian envoy to the U.N., and Philippe Douste-Blazy, France's health minister, said over the weekend that there's no evidence of poisoning.
Arafat is in stable condition after dying in a Paris hospital.
Sick With Hate
The Capital Times of Madison, Wis., has yet another piece on the "Prozac progressives" (thanks to reader Duane Speight for the coinage), Democrats who are suffering psychological ailments in the wake of President Bush's re-election. If you read deep enough, you find an actual insight:
Ron Johnson, a psychologist at Midlands Psychological Associates in Lodi, is still seeing the aftermath and classifies some of it as clinical depression. . . .
Johnson has a couple of theories. One has to do with how bitterly divided the country is. Another has to do with the number of people who were voting against a candidate instead of in favor of one.
"So what we have is this number of people who don't have something to put their passions into. There were a number of people who liked Kerry, but there were more people voting for Kerry who were voting against Bush. And when you are voting against something, when you are against something, it's not a very positive flavor."
Down in Florida, the Boca Raton News has an interview with a 44-year-old woman named Karen, "a divorced mother of one who didn't want her last name in print," who says psychologist Douglas Schooler has cured her of her postelection disorder:
"I was so invested emotionally, watching the debates, and was very disturbed whenever I heard a Marine has been killed. I thought Bush's actions were war crimes. But I'm sleeping again since the therapy and have felt better ever since. I don't know what will happen now, but I'm going to take it day by day and see what happens."
The paper adds that Karen, "a Schooler client for seven years, dating back to her divorce," now realizes, as the paper puts it, that "it had been unhealthy for her to expect Kerry to win."
Virtually Normal
Here are some quotes from voters explaining their presidential choice:
"When 9/11 happened, I thought President Bush was so wonderful because he brought the country together. He began the war on terrorism, which I strongly support."--Michael Winn, 62, of Deerfield Beach, Fla.
"Right now, the No. 1 issue is terrorism. I watched John Kerry waffle on that issue. I'm not comfortable with that."--James Warren, 41, of Overland Park, Fla.
"I look at gay marriage as a way for attorneys to make money. That's why this has gotten into the media."--Warren
"I don't agree with gay marriage. I think a marriage should be between a man and a woman. I do feel civil unions should be approved."--Winn
"I base my vote mostly on national defense and economic issues, like taxes and free trade. Basically, I'm a small government kind of guy. The only area I want government to be strong is national defense and law enforcement."--Chris Taylor, 42, of New York
"I believe in the flat tax. You can't overtax someone for being successful. I support privatizing Social Security for people 40 years old and older. I'm for school vouchers."--Ben Barkai, 24, of Washington
"It is totally wrong for liberal judges to change the definition of marriage. . . . It was the liberal judges and the radical, liberal gay community that created the push for the marriage amendment. Nobody is disagreeing that homosexuals should have their civil rights."--Maurice Bonamigo, 44, of Palm Beach, Fla.
These men have two things in common: They voted for Bush. And they are gay. The quotes come from the Washington Blade, a gay newspaper.
Carville Imitates ScrappleFace.com
"New Jersey Gov. James McGreevey, whose adulterous homosexual affair with one of his highly-paid state employees forced his resignation, today announced that he leaves office with a 'mandate.' "--ScrappleFace.com, Nov. 8
"The only politician in America I know with a mandate is Jim McGreevey."--James Carville, "Meet the Press, Nov. 14
The Selfish Party--III
The chart accompanying our item Friday about the Catalogue of Philanthropy's "Generosity Index" produced some confusion. The chart showed a trendline that moved up with Kerry's margin of victory, which some readers took to mean states that vote Democratic are more generous. In fact, the X axis in the chart is the ranking (1 through 50), so higher numbers indicate less generous states.
Reader Gregory Brunt, meanwhile, says the rankings are junk:
I haven't really studied the methodology of this silly study beyond the results page to which you have link. But it is obvious that this study is biased against the wealthiest states.
Take Connecticut for example. Connecticut is the wealthiest state, yielding a "Having Rank" of 1. Even if the residents of Connecticut gave their entire earnings to charity, the best it could hope for on the "Giving Rank" is 1. The difference of the two, or the "Rank Relation" is 0.
Now Mississippi is the poorest state. It has a "Having Rank" of 50. Let's suppose there was not a single charitable gift made in the Magnolia State. It has a "Giving Rank" of 50. The difference (or "Rank Relation," as you probably have determined, is 0.
The best Connecticut can do as the wealthiest state is the worst Mississippi can do as the poorest state.
Mr. Taranto, normally you expose silly statistical manipulations like this. You have promoted this fatally flawed study not once, but twice. You owe it to your readers to expose this flawed methodology. Furthermore, you owe your readers an apology.
Oh all right, we're sorry. But we have a remedy. Reader Dan Hanchey had the same objection, but he did some calculations of his own. He sent along a spreadsheet that ranked states by the actual percentage of adjusted gross income that the average taxpayer donates to charity. Working from his numbers, we created another chart (this one with the trend line unconfusingly sloping downward):
This method actually produces a slightly stronger correlation than the Catalogue's rankings do.
You Served Where? Speak Up, We Can't Hear You!
The Boston Globe has another lengthy postelection account of the Kerry campaign, or as the headline dubs it, "Kerry's Failed Dream." It begins with a telling anecdote:
On the afternoon of Aug. 9, John F. Kerry stood on the lip of the Grand Canyon, about to make one of the biggest mistakes of his three-year quest for the presidency. A stiff wind was blowing across the canyon, and Kerry, whose hearing was damaged by gun blasts in Vietnam, had trouble understanding some of the questions being thrown his way. But he pressed on, coughing from the pollen blowing on the breeze.
Would Kerry have voted to authorize the use of force in Iraq, one reporter asked, even if he knew then that Iraq didn't have weapons of mass destruction? "Yes, I would have voted for the authority; I believe it's the right authority for a president to have," Kerry replied, as aides stood by, dumbfounded. . . .
The senator explained to aides that part of the question had been lost in the wind; he thought he was answering a variation on the same basic query he'd been asked countless times: Was it right to give Bush the authority to go to war against Iraq? Kerry had simply given his standard "yes," with the proviso that he would have "done this very differently from the way President Bush has"--yet the misunderstanding now muddied Kerry's message.
So, Kerry misunderstood the question because his hearing was damaged in Vietnam. But what was he doing in Vietnam? Read deep enough into this more than 7,500 word piece, and it eventually becomes clear that Kerry served in combat there. In fact, the story describes him as a "war hero."
Now they tell us! But why didn't anyone bother to mention this during the campaign. If people had known Kerry was a war hero, they'd have voted for him for sure!
What Would Kids Do Without Institutes?
"Single motherhood bears greater risks for kids, institute says."--subheadline, Indianapolis Star, Nov. 15
What Would Sox Do Without Experts?
"Osama Given OK to Nuke Yanks: Expert"--headline, Daily News (New York), Nov. 13
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WE Says, That's WHO!
"WHO Says Flu Vaccine Coming Within Year"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 13
The Next Best Thing to Cockfighting
"Analysis: Lame-Duck Fights Ahead"--headline, United Press International, Nov. 12
But It Won't Do Windows
"Lame Duck May Do Housekeeping"--headline, Washington Post, Nov. 14
What an Ingrate!
"Spitzer Finds Warmth in the Heart of Darkness"--headline, Space.com, Nov. 11
"New York's Spitzer to Sue Universal Life"--headline, Reuters, Nov. 12
Stop Censoring Me, You Lousy %#*&!
"Right-Wing Moralists Launch Censor War" blares a headline in Scotland's Sunday Herald. "America's freedom of speech is under attack. Mickey Mouse and Private Ryan had better watch out, says Ros Davidson in Los Angeles." Davidson's article warns of "an attack on American popular culture, which is accelerating following George Bush's re-election."
In the course of recounting the "attack" on free speech, Davidson cites this example:
Two months after the Janet Jackson incident, which also involved singer Justin Timberlake, NBC ran up against the FCC. Rock star Bono, from the band U2, said "f***" during the live broadcast of the Golden Globe Awards.
Those asterisks aren't ours; we use hyphens when quoting an unprintable word. So why doesn't Davidson's article include the actual word? America's right-wing censors are everywhere, it seems. They even edit left-wing newspapers in Scotland! |
