Bob Good day! Welcome to Hoser Jeopardy!
Doug (humming Jeopardy theme) DOO DOO DOO DOO!
Bob What the?
Doug DOO DOO DOO! DOO DOO DOO DOO! DOO!!!!
Bob What're you doin'?!?!
Doug I'm doin' the Jeopardy theme!
Bob No, I'm supposed to announce the show, and you don't do the theme until Final Jeopardy.
Doug Geez. Start over.
Bob Okay. Welcome to Hoser Jeopardy! I'm your host... uh... Bob Trebek.
Doug Bob Trebek?
Bob Yeah.
Doug Alright!
Bob And this is our contestant, Doug. Doug... uh... Jennings.
Doug Yeah. That's me.
Bob Okay, Doug. You remember the rules since you've won this game like a hundred times before.
Doug No, refresh my memory, Bob.
Bob Oh. Um, well you pick one of the topics, and I give you a question in the form of an answer and you have to give your answer in the form of a question.
Doug Okay, I gotta pick the amount too.
Bob Oh yeah, pick the amount then I'll give you the answer and you tell me the question. Got it?
Doug Yeah. See? I know more about the game than the host.
Bob Hoser. Let's see what the topics are. Um. (reads through cards) Canadian Beers, Pork Products, Disco, Snow, Donuts, and Potpourri.
Doug I'll take Potpourri for a hundred, Alex.
Bob That's Bob!
Doug Oh yeah. I'll take Potpourri for a hundred, Bob.
Bob He was the American Secretary of State in 1790.
Doug What? How am I supposed to know that?
Bob No, I'm sorry Doug, it was George Jefferson.
Doug Oh, right.
Bob You have the board.
Doug Um. How about Canadian Beers for 500, Alex?
Bob That's Bob!
Doug Sorry.
Bob This beer is named for its country of origin.
Doug Canadian! Molson Canadian!
Bob No, I'm sorry Doug, your answer has to be in the form of a question!
Doug Uh. What is Canadian?
Bob That's right, but too late now. Hey, let's get to meet our contestants.
Doug I'm the only one here.
Bob So Doug, tell us about yourself.
Doug Um, I'm Doug McKenzie, and...
Bob No, you're Doug Jennings!
Doug Oh yeah. I'm Doug Jennings, and I have a hoseheaded brother named Bob.
Bob What a coincidence! I have a hoseheaded brother named Doug!
Doug Take off.
Bob Okay, since you're in the hole by 600 dollars, it's your turn to pick another topic.
Doug Um. Okay, let's see Snow for 100.
Bob These look like great big tennis rackets but you wear them over your shoes to walk on the snow.
Doug Snowshoes? What are snowshoes?
Bob Correct!
Doug Snow for 200, Alex.
Bob It's Bob!
Doug Bob. Right, I keep forgetting.
Bob This is made of snow and formed into a ball.
Doug What is a snowball?
Bob Correct again!
Doug Same topic, 300.
Bob You put these on your car to improve traction in the snow.
Doug What are snow tires?
Bob Correct again! You're out of the hole!
Doug Same topic, 400.
Bob This is a tracked vehicle with skis on the front for travel through the snow.
Doug What is a Ski-doo? Uh, I mean a snowmobile! What is a snowmobile!?
Bob Judges? (looks to one corner)
Doug (looks around, sees no one there) What are you looking at?
Bob Okay! I think we can go with that! Keep going, Doug!
Doug Okay, I'll take snow for 500, Alex.
Bob BOB!
Doug Whatever.
Bob This is the Inuit word for snow.
Doug What?
Bob BZZT! That sound means the round is over.
Doug Whew.
Bob Let's see what the topic will be for Final Jeopardy.
Doug What about Double Jeopardy?
Bob We don't have time.
Doug Oh, okay.
Bob The Final Jeopardy topic is Thermonuclear Physics. We'll be right back.
Doug What? Back from what?
Bob We're on commercial break.
Doug We're not on TV, you hoser!
Bob Okay, okay. Do you have your wager written down?
Doug Yeah.
Bob This is the name of the particle that mediates the strong nuclear force. Contestants, you have 30 seconds.
Doug I'm the only one here!
Bob And go!
Doug Uh. Am I supposed to do the theme? Cause I gotta write down the answer.
Bob Oh. Um. Do you have the answer?
Doug I have an answer.
Bob Okay, uh. Let's start with you, Doug! What did you write down?
Doug "What is a nobkon?"
Bob A nobkon?
Doug Yeah!
Bob That's wrong. What did you wager?
Doug Two-thousand dollars.
Bob Wha? You only had 400 dollars!
Doug You didn't specify how much I could wager! I want my money back!
Bob You're not getting any money back. In fact, you owe me... uh... almost 2000 dollars!
Doug I owe you? Take off!
Bob Yeah, well looks like your undefeated streak continues anyway. We need more contestants.
Doug Yeah.
Bob We'll see you next month. Uh, same Jeopardy time, same Jeopardy station!
Doug Good day, eh!
Bob Yeah, good day!
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