Best of the Web Today - December 14, 2004
By JAMES TARANTO
The Generation Bridge
One of the clichés of the 1960s was "the generation gap," a reference to then-youthful baby boomers rebelling against their parents. Times have changed, says the Minneapolis Star Tribune:
It is not always a rosy path through adolescence--for parents or children. But there is an upbeat teen spirit wafting through their lives that smells nothing like Generation X disaffection. Unlike the chasm that separated baby boom parents from their parents, many of today's teenagers' tastes in clothes and music, as well as their political and social beliefs, dovetail with those of their parents. They are part of a generation from ages 9 to 19 that looks to Mom and Dad as role models.
"In the history of polling, we've never seen tweens [roughly ages 10 to 12] and teens get along with their parents this well," said William Strauss, co-author with Neil Howe of "Millennials Rising: The Next Great Generation" (Vintage, 2000), about those born since 1982. "Boomers are an obnoxious lot," Strauss added, "and there are a lot of things they don't do well, but you could say they have done a pretty good job with their kids."
If true, this would seem bad news for those who hold out hope for another 1960s-style youth rebellion. What's more, intergenerational harmony coupled with the Roe effect ought to lead to a more conservative electorate as these youngsters come of age.
But maybe a new youth movement isn't entirely out of the question. After all, lots of these kids will be going to college in the next decade, and those who've been raised in conservative homes and communities may be shocked to confront the authoritarian leftism that reigns on campus. Interesting times are ahead, perhaps, for left-wing academics.
Minnesotan Backs Edwards-Edwards Ticket
"Defeated Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry likely is going to get one less electoral vote nationally than he should have--251 instead of 252--because of an apparent mistake Monday by one of Minnesota's 10 DFL electors," the Minneapolis Star Tribune reports. (DFL is not a football league but the Democratic Farmer Labor Party, as Gopher State Dems style themselves.) The paper explains:
One of the 10 handwritten ballots cast for president carried the name of vice presidential candidate John Edwards (actually spelled "Ewards" on the ballot) rather than Kerry. . . .
There was stunned silence after the announcement that Edwards had gotten a vote for president, but none of the 10 electors volunteered that they voted for Edwards as a protest, nor did anyone step forward to admit an error.
"It was perhaps a senior moment," said elector Michael Meuers, 60, a Bemidji marketing consultant for a health care firm, the second-youngest member of the Minnesota delegation to the Electoral College.
The Associated Press reports that Edwards carried all 10 votes for vice president, making this, so far as we know, the first time an elector has backed the same candidate for both offices.
The AP also reports from Columbus, where President Bush received a decisive 20 electoral votes: "While members of the Ohio delegation to the Electoral College voted in the state Senate chamber, about 10 protesters walked a sidewalk nearby." That's quite a turnout--one protester for every two electors.
'I'll Play Along'
In the Pasadena (Calif.) Weekly, Dean Opperman has a hilarious spoof of the Angry Left--an open letter from Dean Opperman to President Bush. Opperman promises, "in the spirit of fleeting bipartisanship" to "play along" with the president's mandate:
I will overlook the fact that you've done more damage to feminism than 20 years of gangster rap, and I will ignore the fear that we will soon need Sherpa guides to reach the ruins of anything resembling such relics as an eight-hour work day. I will do my best to ignore the feeling that I've fallen into a Fellini movie by ignoring the eyes of the old TV news anchors who, caught up in TV's sudden shift to the right, seem to be trying to tell us something they aren't allowed to say on the air. I will suppress my suspicion that you are part of the same gang of psychopaths who brought us Enron, Vietnam and Dallas '63, and I will shelve my theory that the best way to make a dent in terrorism is to invade the state of Texas. And I promise not to move to Mexico, which seems pointless anyway since it appears to be moving to me.
The whole piece is wonderfully over the top, though irony-impaired Andrew Sullivan seems to have taken it seriously.
News About Nothing
Yesterday's New York Times featured an odd piece arising from Bernard Kerik's decision to withdraw from consideration as secretary of homeland security. The Times speculates on the effect on the relationship between President Bush and Rudy Giuliani, Kerik's political patron. Here's the "nut graf," which sums the story up:
Although people close to the president say he likes and respects Mr. Giuliani, they say the president has long been leery of him as a man who could not be counted on for the loyalty demanded by Mr. Bush. And while the breakdown of Mr. Kerik's nomination is not lethal to Mr. Giuliani's relationship with the White House, the friends and officials say, it will hardly burnish his credentials with the president.
So let's see if we have this straight. The Kerik kerfuffle leaves Bush "leery" of Giuliani, which he has "long been" anyway. And while it is "not lethal" to Giuliani's ties with Bush, "it will hardly burnish his credentials" either. Basically the story here is that nothing happened. Why is this news?
Homer Nods
Yesterday's item on Harry Reid's lack of literary talent understated the badness of the incoming Senate minority leader's writing. The passage from a Reid speech we quoted included two phrases using the word insuring: "insuring the taxpayers of the Nation that these changes would make the tax system both fairer and simpler" and "insuring that our citizens have the same protections." We correctly noted that Reid was blurring the distinction between insure and ensure, which he was. But that wasn't the only distinction he blurred. The first insuring should have been assuring. As Harry Reid might say, we regret the error and insure you it'll never happen again.
You Don't Say
"Holiday Weight Gain Hard to Take Off"--headline, Associated Press, Dec. 13
This Just In
"Snow, Cold Signal Winter's Arrival"--headline, South Bend (Ind.) Tribune, Dec. 14
What Would We Do Without CPSC Chairmen?
" 'Most of the deaths and injuries from heaters and fireplaces happen in the winter months,' said CPSC Chairman Hal Stratton."--press release, Consumer Product Safety Commission, Dec. 10
How Would We Drive Without Experts?
"Experts Encourage Safe Driving Over Holiday"--headline, Rockdale (Ga.) Citizen, Dec. 13
What Would Society Do Without Those Who Put Up Decorations?
"Those Who Put Up Decorations Make Society Better"--headline, Dennis Prager column, Townhall.com, Dec. 14
Wasn't It Nov. 25?
"Bot: Date About Turkey Not Clarified Yet"--headline, Zaman (Istanbul), Dec. 14
The Useful Poverty Experts Will Always Be With Us
"Poor Are Useful Poverty Experts"--headline, Baton Rouge (La.) Advocate, Dec. 14
World Ends; Women, Minorities Hardest Hit
"Women More at Risk From Climate Change: Canadian at UN Conference"--headline, Associated Press, Dec. 10
Fashion Victims
A warning from the pages of the St. Petersburg (Fla.) Times:
Before you wear your cool yellow LiveStrong wristband at the hospital, think twice.
Several area hospitals are putting the brakes on Lance Armstrong's cancer organization fundraising bracelets. It's not cold-hearted backlash, but rather a safety precaution.
Patients wear colored bracelets to identify safety needs, said Lisa Johnson, vice president of patient services for Morton Plant Mease Health Care. Yellow stands for "do not resuscitate."
"Hey, have you seen my new bracelet? It's to die for."
Kiss of Death
With Canada on the verge of legalizing same-sex marriage, gays in Vancouver, British Columbia, are "being advised by health authorities to stop kissing on the lips because of a deadly meningococcal C outbreak," the Canadian Broadcast Corp. reports.
Imagine the scene at a Vancouver gay wedding: "You may kiss the bride--uh, I mean the other groom. No, no, not on the lips!"
Human Chomps Canine
"A Gainesville [Fla.] man accused of biting his Jack Russell terrier, Lady, as a form of punishment was arrested on an animal cruelty charge Saturday by Gainesville police officers," reports the Gainesville Sun:
Mount Lee Lacy, 21, of 2361 SW 31st Place, Apt. 7 told officers he bit Lady on Saturday because she had defecated in the house and that he routinely bit her as punishment.
"He said that biting the dog was good punishment and that's how you train them, that dogs bite so that's what they understand," Sgt. Keith Kameg said. "When an officer went to check on (Lady) she was cowering in the back of her crate as if the officer was going to hurt her."
Lady had a bloody left front paw from being bit by Lacy, police reported.
It gets even more awful:
Tim Hackenberg is a University of Florida professor in the behavior analysis area of the psychology department. Hackenberg said animals, like humans, learn from consequences. But Hackenberg added no evidence exists that suggests that biting an animal would have a positive training effect.
"Biting--that's just absurd," Hackenberg said. "Animals, like people, learn much better with positive reinforcement. Something like biting would likely generate worse behavior in the dog. We know from years and years of research that it is always best to use positive reinforcement."
How many dogs did the professors bite in the course of all those "years and years of research"? |
