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Politics : Should God be replaced? -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: one_less who wrote (19110)	1/7/2005 7:54:37 PM
From: Solon	Respond to of 28931

Groucho Marx Quotes A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. Groucho Marx A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. Groucho Marx A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. Groucho Marx A man's only as old as the woman he feels. Groucho Marx A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke. Groucho Marx Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse. Groucho Marx All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats. Groucho Marx And I want to thank you for all the enjoyment you've taken out of it. Groucho Marx Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. Groucho Marx Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife. Groucho Marx Either he's dead or my watch has stopped. Groucho Marx From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it. Groucho Marx Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough. Groucho Marx Go, and never darken my towels again. Groucho Marx Humor is reason gone mad. Groucho Marx I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up. Groucho Marx I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members. Groucho Marx I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. Groucho Marx I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it. Groucho Marx I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. Groucho Marx I must confess, I was born at a very early age. Groucho Marx I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book. Groucho Marx I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. Groucho Marx I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30. Groucho Marx I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. Groucho Marx I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt. Groucho Marx I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. Groucho Marx I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract. Groucho Marx I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member. Groucho Marx I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty. Groucho Marx I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. Groucho Marx I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. Groucho Marx I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. Groucho Marx I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it. Groucho Marx I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. Groucho Marx If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you. Groucho Marx If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again. Groucho Marx In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. Groucho Marx It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy. Groucho Marx Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? Groucho Marx Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! Groucho Marx Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. Groucho Marx Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. Groucho Marx My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something. Groucho Marx My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one. Groucho Marx Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you. Groucho Marx No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early. Groucho Marx One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know. Groucho Marx Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. Groucho Marx Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. Groucho Marx Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies. Groucho Marx Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does. Groucho Marx Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted. Groucho Marx Remember, we're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done! Groucho Marx Room service? Send up a larger room. Groucho Marx She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. Groucho Marx She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. Groucho Marx The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths. Groucho Marx The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Groucho Marx There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook. Groucho Marx Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others. Groucho Marx Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know. Groucho Marx When I was young I was amazed at Plutarch's statement that the elder Cato began at the age of eighty to learn Greek. I am amazed no longer. Old age is ready to undertake tasks that youth shirked because they would take too long. Groucho Marx Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes? Groucho Marx Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. Groucho Marx Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it. Groucho Marx Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me? Groucho Marx Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do! Groucho Marx Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse. Groucho Marx Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough. Groucho Marx Women should be obscene and not heard. Groucho Marx