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BY JAMES TARANTO
Friday, January 7, 2005 4:29 p.m.
A Bridge Too Far
From Sen. Ted Kennedy's questioning of Attorney General-designate Alberto Gonzales yesterday:
Well, just as an attorney, as a human being, I would have thought that if there were recommendations that were so blatantly and flagrantly over the line in terms of torture, that you might have recognized them. I mean, it certainly appears to me that water boarding, with all its descriptions about drowning someone to that kind of a point, would come awfully close to getting over the border, and that you'd be able to at least say today, "There were some that were recommended or suggested on that, but I certainly wouldn't have had a part of that, as a human being."
A Wall Street Journal editorial yesterday described the interrogation technique of "water boarding": "It involves strapping a detainee down, wrapping his face in a wet towel and dripping water on it to produce the sensation of drowning." Apparently it is frightening but harmless. It might be worthwhile for the Senate to call a witness who has experience with actual drowning to comment on the difference. Where's Mary Jo Kopechne when you need her?
Reporting for Duty
Reporting on yesterday's goofy election challenge by a handful of Democrats, the Associated Press notes: "Many who spoke in favor of the protest even voted against it in hopes of clarifying what they said was the real issue--the need to make the country's voting systems fairer and to prevent fraud." They spoke in favor of it and voted against it. Now we understand what this was all about: It was a final tribute to John Kerry*, who voted for the $87 billion before he voted against it, and who was against the liberation of Iraq even though he voted for it.
Barbara Boxer, the lone senator to object to the election result, has resorted to crying in an attempt to get her way. The Washington Times, meanwhile, reports that Boxer is on the defensive over the connection between her challenge and full-bodied filmmaker Michael Moore's agitprop piece "Fahrenheit 9/11." She insists the dreadful documentary "had nothing to do with what I'm doing now."
But Boxer acknowledges that, as the Times puts it, " 'Fahrenheit 9/11' gave her guilt feelings about her deference to Vice President Al Gore's request that his Democratic colleagues not contest the Electoral College count over the disputed 2000 race in Florida."
Those who objected to the election result insisted they knew their effort would not succeed and their purpose was merely to urge Congress to reform the election system. Bring it on, says reader Dave Clark:
I hope the Republicans will respond to the grandstanding of Rep. Stephanie Tubbs Jones and the rest of the Congressional Black Caucus. This is a great opportunity to advance comprehensive election reforms that include some kind of uniform voter ID in every state. Election reforms could eliminate the huge advantage Democrats have in urban areas where there are more voters than the adult census population, like Philadelphia, Milwaukee and St. Louis. It could also track voters who use the absentee ballot provision to vote twice in different states. Could the Democrats win Pennsylvania if voting was cleaned up in Philadelphia?
Be careful what you wish for . . .
*The haughty, French-looking Massachusetts Democrat, who by the way served in Vietnam.
Cowboys, Indians and Jews?
Yesterday we noted that one Saudi moonbat was theorizing that the South Asian earthquake and tsunami were Allah's punishment for Christmastime fornication. ("The earth moved . . .") The Jerusalem Post reports on another theory:
The earthquake that struck the Indian Ocean on December 26, triggering a series of huge waves called tsunami, "was possibly" caused by an Indian nuclear experiment in which "Israeli and American nuclear experts participated," an Egyptian weekly magazine reported Thursday.
According to Al-Osboa', India, in its heated nuclear race with Pakistan, has lately received sophisticated nuclear know-how from the United States and Israel, both of which "showed readiness to cooperate with India in experiments to exterminate humankind."
This further underscores the absurdity of hand-wringing over the effect of the Abu Ghraib abuses on America's image in the Muslim world. America isn't perfect, but even if it were, that wouldn't stop anti-American propagandists from making up stuff like this.
Clueless Kofi
"U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan, visiting the Indonesian island of Sumatra, said Friday the destruction was the worst he had ever seen," CNN reports:
"You wonder where are the people? What has happened to them?" Annan said as he toured Aceh province, one of the areas hardest hit by the December 26 disaster.
We realize Annan was on vacation, but do you mean to tell us he still hasn't heard about the tsunami?
Well, That's a Relief
"Voting by Dead People Isn't Always a Scam"--headline, Seattle Times, Jan. 7
Say What?
"With Karen Hughes long gone, a 10-week-old named Miss Beazley moved yesterday to become the dominant female on the White House staff."--Washington Post, Jan. 7
Angry Left Suicide Watch
"A local columnist and her businessman husband committed suicide on New Year's Day after sending out their obituary, letters to friends, and a newspaper column supporting 'death with dignity,' " the Associated Press reports from Cheyenne, Wyo.:
The final column Helen Levine wrote for the Casper Star-Tribune reminded readers of her support for "death with dignity," the newspaper said. She also wrote that the couple had "experienced insults" related to their jobs, and she criticized President Bush for the war in Iraq and other things.
The Casper Strib quoted from the submitted column but declined to publish it in full.
An Unhappy Reader
From a Democratic Underground posting by "blueblitzkrieg" titled "My dad ordered me a subscription to the WSJ without telling me!":
My dad is a Republican, and he knows I'm a Democrat and that I supported Kerry in the election. We got in several arguments over Christmas about politics, which pretty much ruined things, and I left early and angry back to college.
Anyway, I went outside today and there was a copy of the Wall Street Journal in front of my door. Called my mom up and she said my dad had ordered me a subscription, maybe, she said, to "help me see the other side of things." I guess it's a Christmas gift??
I feel kind of annoyed. My parents never respect my opinion and never take into consideration that I do familiarize myself with both sides of an argument. Just because I don't agree with their side doesn't mean I'm ignorant and need to be convinced into joining the Repug [sic] Party.
Am I right to feel somewhat annoyed by this???
The responses suggest buying the father a subscription to The Nation or Mother Jones, buying a parakeet ("They are nice little pets and you will have a good use for the Wall Street Urinal"), and keeping every paper, "then next X-Mas [sic] give them back to him. Maybe he will get the idea after that."
Other responders defend the Journal's news coverage (as opposed to the editorial page), and one even quotes anti-American linguist Noam Chomsky in defense of the Journal, then says:
You can easily avoid the opinionated parts, and just read the good reporting. I think, it's logical, that they have a much higher journalistic standards [sic] than the papers for the unwashed masses. If you want to make lots of money, by screwing other people's economies for example, you have to rely on the best informations [sic] available. You shouldn't take the faith-based approach, and believe the lies, that are fed to the nobodies.
Meanwhile, "Eileen" of Williamsburg, Va., writes to DU advice columnist "Auntie Pinko":
I am hoping you can help me with a problem that I have been having with my husband ever since the election. Since then he has been in a deep depression.
He was devastated that Kerry did not win (well he actually did win since he really won Ohio, but that is another topic!) and spends hours and hours everyday researching all the atrocities of the war in Iraq, the many horrible things the Bush administration has done to innocent Americans, the "real story of the 9/11 attacks" (the theory that it was an inside job that the Bush Administration knew about and approved) the civil liberties that have been taken away with the Patriot Act and even more to come when the Patriot Act II passes etc. etc.
He and my son are traveling to DC for the anti-inauguration protests on inauguration day. He is convinced that he will be arrested, taken to a prisoner internment center and that we will never see him again.
Auntie Pinko merely tells Eileen to buck up, but a better suggestion comes from "theycanbiteme," who offers this advice to blueblitzkrieg (ellipses in original): "Maybe he's trying to 'protect you' . . . you know, your reading habits are being pegged by the federales . . . so, maybe a sub to the WSJ will make you look more like . . . a repuke [sic] . . ."
We can predict with confidence that no Inauguration Day protester who is carrying The Wall Street Journal will end up in a prisoner internment center.
It's Called 'The Great Unraveling'
"I've been thinking of writing a political novel. It will be a bad novel because there won't be any nuance: the villains won't just espouse an ideology I disagree with--they'll be hypocrites, cranks and scoundrels."--former Enron adviser Paul Krugman, New York Times, Jan. 7
Great Minds Think Alike
Today's Arizona Republic carries the following "letter" from Nic Karlsson of Avondale:
President Bush is endangering my retirement and the retirements of millions of Americans by taking the first step in his plan to dismantle Social Security.
Recently, White House sources revealed their plan to cut promised benefits to retirees by nearly a third. And these cuts are guaranteed, whether you opt in to the Bush plan or not.
For those entering the workforce today, that means more than a 25 percent cut in the retirement benefits they're counting on; for their children, it guarantees a 46 percent cut.
We can't stand by and let George W. Bush and the Republicans cut our promised retirement benefits--especially when so many of us are counting on Social Security to help us lead a happy, healthy life when we retire.
Nearly identical letters appear in the Fargo (N.D.) Forum (from Faun Durni of Ellendale), the Charleston (W.Va.) Gazette (Sandra Martin of Hurricane), the Tullahoma (Tenn.) News (William Brown of Manchester) and the Ventura County (Calif.) Star (Refugio Mata of Simi Valley).
Weasel Watch
Bloomberg News reports that France's President Jacques Chirac gave a speech to a group of foreign diplomats in Paris:
Chirac spoke to the ambassadors about the need to help establish peace and security in the Middle East. On Jan. 9, Palestinians vote to choose a successor for Yasser Arafat as their leader.
''After the election of the Palestinian president, let's work together to make the retreat from Gaza a success,'' Chirac said.
Only a Frenchman would talk about making a retreat a success.
Arafat is in stable condition after dying in a Paris hospital.
This Just In
"French Anti-Semitism Is Not New"--headline, The Jewish Week (New York), Jan. 7
Generalissimo Francisco Franco Is Still Dead
"Cat Stevens Still Not Allowed in U.S."--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 7
Breaking Up Is Hard to Do
Is same-sex marriage a threat to ordinary marriage? Well, consider this: "San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom and his wife, Court TV legal analyst Kimberly Guilfoyle Newsom, are filing for divorce after three years of marriage." This just months after Newsom performed a series of illegal same-sex "marriage" ceremonies. Maybe this is mere coincidence, but can we afford to take that chance?
Meanwhile, the Associated Press reports a Spokane, Wash., judge "has revoked a pregnant woman's divorce until after she gives birth." Judge Paul Bastine wrote: "It is the policy of the state that you cannot dissolve a marriage when one of the parties is pregnant." But what if the other party is pregnant?
Metaphor Alert
From a Christian Science Monitor op-ed by NPR's Daniel Schorr: "History teaches that a president can nominate someone he considers to be on his wavelength, only to find a justice harkening to a different drummer once safe behind the judicial curtains."
What Would We Do Without Judges?
"Judge: Listerine No Replacement for Floss"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 7
What Would We Do Without Brain Studies?
"Women More Emotional About Body Image Than Men--Brain Study"--headline, Sydney Morning Herald, Jan. 6
What Would We Do Without Lawyers?
"Lawyers: Yates Ruling Shows Hazard of Experts"--headline, Galveston County (Texas) Daily News, Jan. 7
This Just In
"Gambling Creates Economic Winners--and Losers"--headline, Albuquerque Journal, Jan. 7
What a Loser
Fox News Channel describes a crime gone awry: An unnamed Vancouver, Wash., man held up a gas station. "After cleaning out the till, the robber and a passenger took off in a red Honda, and cops from four towns and sheriff's deputies gave chase." Cops gave chase, at up to 100 miles an hour, but the miscreant was able to lose them.
"After a while, the fugitives managed to lose their pursuers in the darkness, but they had no idea where they were. So the stickup man pulled into a Chevron station to ask for the way to Seattle, unaware that it was the very same establishment he'd just robbed. . . . The cops caught up to the Honda soon afterward."
Guys, remember this story the next time your wife or girlfriend complains about your refusal to ask for directions. |
