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Politics : Politics for Pros- moderated -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: LindyBill who wrote (94994)1/13/2005 3:18:40 AM
From: LindyBill  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 793846
 
From David Letterman last night, in case you missed it:

Top Ten Proposed Changes At CBS News

10. Stories must be corroborated by at least two really strong hunches.

9. “Evening News” pre-show staff cocktail hour is cancelled until further notice.

8. Reduce “60 Minutes” to more manageable 15-20 minutes.

7. Change division name from “CBS News” to “CBS News-ish”

6. If anchor says anything inaccurate, earpiece delivers an electric shock.

5. Conclude each story with comical “Boing” sound effect.

4. Instead of boring Middle East reports, more powerball drawings.

3. To play it safe, every “exclusive” story will be about how tasty pecan pie is.

2. Not sure how, but make CBS News more like “C.S.I.”

1. Use beer, cash and hookers to lure Tom Brokaw out of retirement.