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Politics : Politics for Pros- moderated -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: LindyBill who wrote (95884)	1/19/2005 2:39:17 PM
From: Jagfan	Respond to of 793738

Reminds me of this story; Redneck story of the year: Trailer park resident belts girlfriend with an alligator The rednecky story of the year so far comes out of Florida. David Havenner of Port Orange was busted over the weekend for picking up his 3-foot alligator, swinging it and hitting his girlfriend with it. Havenner, 41, who is in jail facing misdemeanor charges of battery and possession of an alligator, was keeping the critter in the bathtub of the mobile home where he lived with his girlfriend. Nancy Monico, 39, told law officers that Havenner threw empty beer bottles at her and hit her with his alligator. She was not seriously injured. At first glance, this Florida story appears to have all the elements of the perfect redneck yarn. Not only did it happen in a trailer, but it also involved drinking before noon. It occurred shortly after 10 a.m. Havenner said the trouble started when his girlfriend got miffed and bit him on the hand because they had run out of booze. If they were drinking Jack, maybe she had a point. If it was just beer, she was out of line. This is a championship redneck story, all right. But it would have been even more rednecky if: * The trailer park neighbors had shown up later with a 12-pack, built a fire, cooked the alligator and ate it. * Havenner had swung the alligator at his girlfriend because she had changed channels on the TV while he was trying to watch a fishing show. * The alligator had been wearing a Brooks & Dunn T-shirt. * The only one left with any teeth was the alligator. * After Havenner swung the alligator, his girlfriend had countered by throwing her pit bull at him. * Neighbors didn't bother to call the police because they didn't think smacking somebody with a gator was against the law. * Havenner's mother-in-law, wearing curlers and a terry-cloth tank top, had shown up with a sawed-off shotgun, taken the alligator at gunpoint from Havenner and had it made into a pair of shoes. flipsideshow.com