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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: one_less who wrote (94321)	1/21/2005 7:43:41 PM
From: Grainne	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

The problem is that you took something I said--essentially that I believed in parenting by natural consequences--and apparently assumed that was the sum total of parenting for me. And then I believe you insinuated that I had no parenting experience at all. I think you will find that if you want to have a polite, reasonable discussion at Feelies, these are not good strategies to start one. Of course child development is complex and continuing. I would still maintain that the core of it is not, as you suggest, motivating the child to please the parent. I think that makes for mushy morals. But I don't think it is healthy to oversimplify. This is a very short example of natural consequences: Natural consequences Allowing children to experience the consequences of their behavior is also called learning the hard way. For example, Gena does not put her books back in her school bag after she finishes reading. One day she loses a book, and therefore must find a way to replace it. There is a lot more at this url--it discusses the four basic parenting styles, and points out that most parents' styles are somewhat mixed. It particularly points out the pitfalls of an authoritarian parenting style. I think parenting based on making it clear that you approve or disapprove of a child's behavior can be linked to this style, of which I heartily disapprove. Perhaps I misunderstood what you meant by it, though. muextension.missouri.edu My parenting style was quite complex, based on parenting on primitive cultures where babies are held constantly, nurse until they are about four, and sleep with their mothers. I think this gives a child security and confidence. For school-aged children, I believe in very late reading (no abstract symbols until the age of seven), which is based on Rudolf Steiner's philosophy. I have a lot more educational theories/philosophies based on the age of the child, but I am in a hurry right now and want to make it quite clear I am not expressing all of them, or expressing them in detail.