Best of the Web Today - February 2, 2005
By JAMES TARANTO
Jaded No More
"Abandoning diplomatic circumspection, the top U.N. electoral expert on Tuesday praised the vote in Iraq as one of the most moving she had ever seen," the Associated Press reports:
Carina Perelli, who has helped advise on dozens of elections from East Timor to the Palestinian territories, called the Jan. 30 election a "dignified, peaceful demonstration" of Iraqis' will.
"I have participated in many elections in my life and I usually say that the day you lose your ability to be moved by people going to vote, you should change your career," said Perelli, who had insisted for months that U.N. advisers would leave pronouncements on the election to Iraq's electoral commission. "This was probably one of the most moving elections I have ever seen."
We zinged Perelli last week for her blasé pre-election attitude, so three cheers for her now. In contrast, some erstwhile Saddam Hussein supporters have gone silent, the Washington Times reports:
Billionaire Bush-basher George Soros and left-wing filmmaker Michael Moore were among critics of the administration's Iraq policy who had no comment after millions of Iraqis went to the polls in their nation's first free elections in decades.
The Carter Center determined that the security situation in Iraq was going to be too dangerous to send election monitors, so the Atlanta-based human rights organization founded by former President Jimmy Carter posted its personnel in neighboring Jordan. . . .
Asked whether the Carter Center had a comment on the election, spokeswoman Kay Torrance said: "We wouldn't have any 'yea' or 'nay' statement on Iraq."
Mr. Carter told NBC's "Today" show in September that he was confident the elections would not take place. "I personally do not believe they're going to be ready for the election in January . . . because there's no security there," he said.
We'd love to hear Jimmy Carter say "I was wrong," but even we aren't idealistic enough to think that's going to happen in this lifetime. Still, shaming him into silence is almost as great an achievement as bringing democracy to the heart of the Arab world. Chalk up another triumph for George W. Bush.
Toy Soldiers
When the Associated Press "reported" yesterday that "Iraqi militants" claimed to have kidnapped an American "soldier," it noted: "The figure in the photo appeared stiff and expressionless." CNN now reports that that's almost certainly because the "soldier" was a vertically challenged inanimate-American:
Liam Cusack, the marketing coordinator for Dragon Models USA, said the figure pictured on the Web site is believed to be "Special Ops Cody," a military action figure the company manufactured in late 2003.
"It pretty much looks exactly like the same person [sic]," he said. . . .
"Cody" is an action figure the company made for the Army and Air Force Exchange Service, which supplies U.S. military bases worldwide with various items. The doll was meant to look like a U.S. soldier who might be serving in Iraq, Cusack said.
This gets curiouser and curiouser. The figure depicted in the "hostage" photo has action-African-American features, whereas the Cody on the Dragon Models USA Web site appears to be a plastic person of pallor. Tech Central Station has obtained Cody's diary: "The Slinky betrayed us. . . . He was an unstable character, always going back and forth, back and forth, never showing a shred of backbone." Of course, if the terrorists keep kidnapping action figures, they may find themselves facing their worst nightmare.
Meanwhile, London's left-wing Guardian reports the story in today's edition as if "Cody" were an actual soldier.
Where's Cody When You Need Him?
"Politicians Beat Up on American Girl Doll"--headline, Chicago Sun-Times, Feb. 2
Can Hillary Escape the Abortion Trap?
We're certainly gratified to see how quickly our observation, a scant eight weeks ago, that Democrats lose presidential elections in part because of their extreme pro-abortion positions has become conventional wisdom. Hillary Clinton has certainly caught on, and is trying to stake out a middle ground. Writing in Slate last week, William Saletan argues that she's likely to succeed: "Clinton isn't trying to end the abortion war. She's repositioning her party to win it."
Well, she's trying anyway--and her approach is sophisticated, even in some ways ingenious. Saletan notes that she went beyond "safe, legal and rare" to declare: "There is no reason why government cannot do more to educate and inform and provide assistance so that the choice guaranteed under our constitution either does not ever have to be exercised or only in very rare circumstances" (emphasis ours).
If Clinton favors the near or total abolition of abortion, how does she justify her opposition to laws aimed at accomplishing that end? By setting up a straw postfetal male American. Writes Saletan:
Clinton's speech basically updated the pro-choice message for the age of terrorism. She began by talking about Romania and China, two regimes that in the last two decades forced women to abort (in China's case) or not to abort (in [communist] Romania's case) pregnancies. . . .
It's hard for Americans to remember abortion bans here, much less imagine them today. What China and Romania illustrate is the ugly mechanics of turning anti-abortion morality into law. "Once a month, Romanian women were rounded up . . . taken to a government-controlled health clinic, told to disrobe while they were standing in line . . . [and] examined by a government doctor with a government secret police officer watching," Clinton recalled.
Saletan the message of all this as follows: "What's your plan? Ban abortion and monitor everyone's womb like Romania did? Or ban it and look the other way while the pregnancies go on and the quacks take over?" But this is a false choice.
Plainly America is not about to adopt a communist-style regime to "monitor everyone's wombs" and prevent abortion. But then again, neither do government agents pay regular visits to the home of all new parents to make sure their little bundles of joy are still breathing--yet we have laws against not only infanticide but child abuse and neglect.
Even if you think that an abortion ban would be a greater evil than the absence of one, there are alternatives besides a total ban and total deregulation. Indeed, as we argued in December, Republicans have benefited politically from Roe v. Wade because that decision, by making impossible any draconian antiabortion measures (and many nondraconian ones), puts the "pro-life" party in a position of advocating only the most moderate of restrictions, such as the (possibly "unconstitutional") Partial Birth Abortion Act of 2003--which Hillary Clinton voted against.
Clinton has one great advantage in pressing this argument: Because of her iconic status, she is the one Democrat who can get away with making pro-life noises without alienating the party's pro-abortion base (cf John Kerry, now under attack from Planned Parenthood for his clumsy efforts to paint himself as non-pro-abortion--and it isn't the clumsiness that PP doesn't like). She probably could even get away with endorsing some modest legal restrictions on abortion, though as far as we know she hasn't yet had the political courage to do so.
But the best thing that could happen to a prospective presidential bid would be if the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade in the next four years (a very unlikely prospect). If banning abortion were an actual political option, she could very easily position herself as a true moderate.
Groundhog Day
Remember Deborah Tannen? She wrote a book back in the '80s called "You Just Don't Understand," in which she argued that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. The other day she wrote a Newsday op-ed on the election campaign, and her criticism of President Bush gave us a chuckle:
Rather than addressing the issues, the Bush campaign repeated two simple mantras: Kerry is a flip-flopper and Bush will keep you safer in the face of blinding fear of terrorism (fear that their campaign rhetoric stoked).
On the second point, isn't keeping us safe from terrorism the issue today? On the first, does she mean to suggest that John Kerry* isn't a flip-flopper? If so, maybe she should check out the transcript of his interview Sunday with "Meet the Press"--or as we call it, "the gift that keeps on giving." Did regime change in Iraq make us safer? No and yes, says Kerry:
Tim Russert: Do you believe that Iraq is less a terrorist threat to the United States now than it was two years ago?
Kerry: No, it's more. And, in fact, I believe the world is less safe today than it was 2 1/2 years ago. . . .
Russert: Is the United States safer with the newly elected Iraqi government than we would have been with Saddam Hussein?
Kerry: Sure. And I'm glad Saddam Hussein is gone, and I've said that a hundred times.
Does he agree with Ted Kennedy's view that America is the problem and should get out? No and yes:
Russert: Specifically, do you agree with Sen. Kennedy that 12,000 American troops should leave at once?
Kerry: No.
Russert: Do you believe there should be a specific timetable of withdrawal of American troops?
Kerry: No.
Russert: What would you do?
Kerry: I understand exactly what Sen. Kennedy is saying, and I agree with Sen. Kennedy's perceptions of the problem and of how you deal with it. . . . I agree with Senator Kennedy that we have become the target and part of the problem today, if not the problem.
Does he believe in opinion polls? Yes and no:
Russert: At the Clinton Library dedication on Nov. 18, a few weeks after the election, you were quoted as saying, "It was the Osama bin Laden tape. It scared the voters," the tape that appeared just a day before the election here. Do you believe that tape is the reason you lost the race?
Kerry: I believe that 9/11 was the central deciding issue in this race. And the tape--we were rising in the polls up until the last day when the tape appeared. We flat-lined the day the tape appeared and went down on Monday. I think it had an impact. . . .
Russert: Our affiliate, Channel 7 in Boston, WHDH, and Suffolk University took a poll asking Massachusetts voters, "Should Kerry run for president in 2008?" Yes, 33; no, 59. And the man who runs the poll, David Paleologos, has said that--" 'Massachusetts voters have built a presidential ceiling over John Kerry's head,' said David Paleologos, director of Suffolk's Political Research Center." Six out of 10 Massachusetts voters don't want you to run again. Why?
Kerry: Well, Tim, if you ask me about polls today, you're going to get one of the sort of quick and easy dismissals of all politics, because I'm a poll expert. And if you'll recall, every poll in the country eliminated me from the race in December prior to Iowa, and I turned around and won. And every poll eliminated me two or three times from even making the race close. So I think polls today are almost irrelevant, and I just don't pay any attention to them.
We suppose the last pair of answers aren't a flip-flop, strictly speaking. Polls probably are more reliable a few days before a general election than almost four years before, and the way the Iowa caucuses work makes it hard to survey opinion accurately. Still, there is ample evidence to support the characterization of Kerry as a flip-flopper.
* The haughty, French-looking Massachusetts Democrat, who by the way delivered weapons to the Khmer Rouge.
The Adolescent Party
From a Chicago Tribune editorial on Social Security reform:
So, is there a crisis? Not today. A 28-year-old faces the prospect that, if Washington does nothing, when he turns 65 there won't be enough money to pay him a full Social Security benefit. The average 28-year-old thinks about turning into a 65-year-old about as often as he thinks about turning into a giraffe. It's not in the picture. There is time to do something about the eventual shortfall.
The most obvious objection to this is that it is insulting to transspeciesed persons. How would you like to be a giraffine-American trapped in a man's body? But reader Julie Beck has a more subtle complaint:
Apparently the Chicago Tribune thinks they a) have no readers 28 or younger or b) don't care what readership they lose with their insulting remarks.
I am a 26-year-old. I have a 401(k) through my part-time job. I am also self-employed, which means for my self-employment earnings I pay the full 15.3% [Social Security and Medicare tax] as my employer and my employee. The way Social Security is going, I will see none of it.
I have never though about "turning into a giraffe," but I have certainly thought about what's going to happen when I turn 65. My husband and I have no children, but we talk about saving for our future children's college. Apparently the members of the Chicago Tribune editorial board do not tend to think that far in advance.
This points to a seldom-remarked difference between conservative and liberal Americans. The former (speaking in broad generalities here) are more likely to marry and have children at a relatively young age, whereas the latter tend to think of even the late 20s as an extension of adolescence.
Zero-Tolerance Watch
"A Cryar Intermediate School fifth-grader is facing a state jail felony charge for accidentally setting off a school fire alarm, according to his parents," reports the Courier of Montgomery County, Texas:
On Friday afternoon, the boy's mother, Kerri Rasco, of Conroe, got the kind of phone call no parent wants and probably doesn't think they [sic] will get about a child as young as 11.
"I was at work about 2 p.m. when I got a phone call from the sixth-grade assistant principal at the school," Rasco said. "She said my son pulled the fire alarm. 'That is a felony offense,' she told me. I was shocked."
Rasco said the assistant principal then put a CISD [Conroe Independent School District] police officer on the phone with her. "The officer informed me he was arresting my son," Rasco said. "They cuffed him there at the school and took him to juvenile detention."
The boy spent the weekend behind bars. The story includes the ritual invocation of Columbine even though it involves nothing remotely resembling a weapon or threat of violence:
With zero tolerance, a policy that public schools implemented after the deaths of 12 students and a teacher at Columbine High School in Colorado in 1999, prosecutors take a false alarm offense "more seriously," according to Bill Patillo, a former juvenile prosecutor for Montgomery County who is now in private practice representing juveniles.
"Those few cases (like Columbine) did make us more acutely aware," Patillo said. "It used to be just a prank. Now you have to treat every one more seriously, and we would definitely be more forceful. There's a clear difference between pre-Columbine and post-Columbine."
Hat tip: ZeroIntelligence.net.
Sweet Mama
The Christian Science Monitor reports this Iraq election anecdote:
Determined not to be marginalized, a woman who gave her name only as Umm Ali, the mother of Ali, said she moved for three days out of Doura, a district on Baghdad's southern edge thick with insurgents, so she could vote in relative safety.
"I came here to relatives, because in Doura there are many [insurgent] operations," says Umm Ali, in broken English. "Everyone in my neighborhood had left to vote. I have no feeling of fear--Allah has won."
Umm Ali does indeed mean "mother of Ali," but it is also "a delicious traditional Egyptian dessert equivalent to North America's bread pudding." But then, this wouldn't be the first time dessert and politics have met. America, after all, once elected einen Berliner as president.
Keep This Under Your Hat
"Apple Computer raised the stakes in the local MP3 player market by announcing yesterday that it will lower the price of its iPod only in Korea," reports Seoul's JoongAng Daily:
The discounts are only for Apple's hard-disk drive music players and exclude the iPod Shuffle, its cheaper flash-memory music player, which began sales here yesterday.
Local representatives even asked the media to "keep quiet" about the price cuts, saying that headquarters feared opposition from other Asian countries.
So remember, if you're in the media, don't tell anyone about this!
Roll Over, Marx and Lenin
"McDonald's plans to nearly double its national presence in the next three years, the fast-food giant said Monday as it marked the 15th anniversary of its first restaurant in Russia."--Moscow Times, Feb. 1
"Thirteen years and half a dozen decrees after City Hall earmarked a plot of land as the site for a future 'Russian Disneyland,' implementation of the ambitious plan is finally about to begin."--Moscow Times, Feb. 1
News You Can Use--I
"False Alarm, Connecticut Not Being Evacuated"--headline, Westport (Conn.) Now, Feb. 1
News You Can Use--II
"Bad Behavior Can Bring Unwanted Attention from Police"--headline, San Jose Mercury News, Feb. 1
It's a Bird, It's a Plane . . .
We smiled when we saw the headline on the New York Times' Monday editorialette on Europe's new Airbus A380, "Is Bigger Really Better?," because The Wall Street Journal posed the same question in an editorial 12 days earlier. But we puzzled for a good long time over the last sentence in a correction the paper appended today:
An editorial on Monday about the new jumbo Airbus misstated the weight of the airplane. Its takeoff weight, fully loaded with passengers, freight and fuel, is hundreds of thousands of pounds heavier than the Boeing 747, depending on the configurations, not 30,000 tons heavier. It's an aircraft, not an aircraft carrier.
Finally we figured out it was an attempt at humor. Oh well, give 'em credit for trying.
The Wolf's Meow
From a USA Today story on a prison-abuse case:
Margaret Winter, the ACLU's lead attorney in the case, said the findings by Moriarty's office reflect an attempt to "whitewash" Johnson's claims.
Winter said that because of Johnson's sexual orientation and his inability to defend himself, he should not have been put into the general population section of the James Allred Unit, a 3,500-bed facility near Wichita Falls that is known as one of Texas' roughest prisons. In that environment, she said, Johnson was like "catnip to a pack of wolves."
It's a queer sort of wolf that's interested in catnip, is it not?
Philly Fanatic
James Phillips of the Heritage Foundation is a fan of the New England Patriots, but the Philadelphia Inquirer reports he has a doppelgänger who loves the Philadelphia Eagles. Actually "loves" understates the case:
"They better win the Super Bowl after all I went through," Phillips said last night from his hospital bed, mopping the sweat from his brow with bandages that are wrapped around both of his hands. He said doctors have told him that they are going to have to cut off the tips of the pinky, ring and middle fingers on his left hand because of severe frostbite.
Phillips, of Marcus Hook, worked for 30 hours shoveling snow at Lincoln Financial Field the night before the Jan. 23 NFC championship game against the Falcons, and then, as a reward for his hard work, stayed to watch the game. And he did it all without wearing gloves. . . .
Phillips said he heard a radio advertisement that the shovelers could earn $8.50 an hour. He said he didn't realize that he'd be invited to watch the game from the field.
"We live and die Eagles in this city. I mean, there were people on eBay paying $1,300 for those seats and I got to see it for free," Phillips said.
Well, not exactly for free--but at least it didn't cost him an arm and a leg. |
