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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: goldworldnet who wrote (98060)3/15/2005 1:27:14 AM
From: Grainne  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 108807
 
I don't know where you live--are there colleges your daughter would enjoy nearby?

I am really conservative about children going away to college. There are enormous amounts of binge drinking and other dangerous, risk-taking activities going on there. My own personal view is that many children are not ready to make sound judgments at 17 or 18 and would really benefit from taking a gap year off to explore the world and grow up a little, or start college but stay closer to home for a couple of years. I remember being endlessly homesick at college myself. It was a really abrupt transition. One day you are living at home with your family and pets. Then your father throws your belongings into the car, and away you go and it is totally foreign and lonely and different. It seemed like too big of a shock to me. I would have preferred a much more gradual approach to adulthood myself.

The think about her falling in love with a guy somewhere else and not coming back is a little dicey. Nearer home or far away, she could fall in love with someone who takes a job in another state (or country), or joins the military, or lots of other variables (you've probably thought of them all). Or she might need to move to a big city in another region to get her career started. I'm not sure your plan will work. The best thing you can do is to maintain a close relationship with her (so that if she does set up her adult life too far away, you can move close by). I know a lot of people whose parents have moved like that.



To: goldworldnet who wrote (98060)3/15/2005 9:44:05 AM
From: epicure  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 108807
 
It's hard to keep kids close in this day and age. You never know where her job will take her, even is she doesn't have the issue of marriage to someone from out of state. I think about that a lot. I have three kids, and I would want to be near them all, but odds are they won't all live in the same town- so I'm prepared to travel.