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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: JeffA who wrote (103555)	5/9/2005 4:45:53 PM
From: epicure	Respond to of 108807

I think you can choose how you have sex, but if you are really homosexual, your fantasies are going to be primarily homosexual, and even though you can have sex with a man (if you are a woman) you are going to be fantasizing about women. The question is, imo, do you want to force people who would be happier to align their fantasies and their lives in a homosexual manner to live as straight people, even if they aren't doing any harm living as gay people. If they can live any way they want, and figure out their own arrangements- then homosexual people, and bi people, and straight people will all be happier, imo. Obviously people who think it is an abomination in the sight of God won't be able to look at it that way. There's still a lot of pressure on homosexuals. Those cadres of people who think it is an abomination are probably kind of scary.

To: JeffA who wrote (103555)	5/9/2005 7:22:25 PM
From: Grainne	Respond to of 108807

Well, you give one example. You are talking about bisexuals, it would seem. If you are saying that sometimes some people have some choice in their sex partners, I would agree, because sexuality occurs on a continuum, where avid heterosexuals are at one end, complete homosexuals are at the other end, and there are some people in the middle who are bisexual, and could go either way based on their circumstances. I think this mainly involves women, not men. It is the phenomenon primarily of middle-aged women, whose sexuality seems a little more mutable. Some of these women are predominantly heterosexual, but because of a complex constellation which includes harsh, bad and disappointing experiences with men, may try a relationship with a woman. I don't think sexual relations are the biggest part or attraction of these relationships, even. Companionship and a search for stability seem to be really important. I do think this is really different from the religious right believing that homosexuality is a sin and that homosexuals should all be converted into heterosexuals. There is no real evidence that this works at all long term. I also think it is important to separate out bisexuals from absolute homosexuals like Chrissy Gebhardt and Mary Cheney, who from what I have read were absolutely positive they were gay. Also, most male homosexuals know from early childhood that they are gay. I don't understand why our society should discriminate against these people, who are certainly entitled to the same civil benefits we give heterosexuals. Even Spain, a Catholic country, has gay marriage now. America is going backwards in terms of what other modern countries are doing to protect homosexuals and allow them to provide basic security for their families.