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Pastimes : Where the GIT's are going -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: KLP who wrote (101223)5/10/2005 12:34:50 PM
From: Sarkie  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 225578
 
DOG DEFINITIONS
>>O<< >>O<< >>O<< >>O<< >>O<< >>O<< >>O<< >>O<<

LEASH:
A strap which attaches to your collar,
enabling you to lead your person
where you want him/her to go.

DOG BED:
Any soft, clean surface,
such as the white bedspread in the guest room
or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.

DROOL:
Is what you do when your persons have food
and you don't.
To do this properly you must sit as close
as you can and look sad and let the drool
fall to the floor, or better yet, on their laps.

SNIFF:
A social custom to use when you
greet other dogs.
Place your nose as close as you can to
the other dog's rear end and inhale deeply,
repeat several times,
or until your person makes you stop.

GARBAGE CAN:
A container which your neighbors put out
once a week to test your ingenuity.
You must stand on your hind legs
and try to push the lid off with your nose.
If you do it right, you are rewarded with
margarine wrappers to shred,
beef bones to consume,
and moldy crusts of bread.

BICYCLES:
Two-wheeled exercise machines,
invented for dogs to control body fat.
To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must
hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly,
and run alongside for a few yards;
the person then swerves and
falls into the bushes,
and you prance away.

DEAFNESS:
This is a malady which affects dogs when
their persons want them in
and they want to stay out.
Symptoms include staring blankly at the person,
then running in the opposite direction,
or lying down.

THUNDER:
This is a signal that the world is
coming to an end.
Humans remain amazingly calm during
thunderstorms, so it is necessary to
warn them of the danger by
trembling uncontrollably, panting,
rolling your eyes wildly,
and following at their heels.

WASTEBASKET:
This is a dog toy filled with paper,
envelopes, and old candy wrapper.
When you get bored, turn over the basket
and strew the papers all over the house
until your person comes home.

SOFAS:
Are to dogs like napkins are to people.
After eating it is polite to run up and down
the front of the sofa
and wipe your whiskers clean.

BATH:
This is a process by which the humans
drench the floor, walls and themselves.
You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.

LEAN:
Every good dog's response to the command, "Sit!"
especially if your person is dressed
for an evening out.
Incredibly effective before black-tie events.

BUMP:
The best way to get your human's attention
when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea.

GOOSE BUMP:
A maneuver to use as a last resort when the
Regular Bump doesn't get the attention you require
... especially effective when combined with The Sniff.
(See above.)

LOVE:
Is a feeling of intense affection,
given freely and without restriction.
The best way you can show your love
is to wag your tail.
If you're lucky,
a human will love you in return.
(And if we "persons" are lucky,
a dog loves us in return.)



To: KLP who wrote (101223)5/10/2005 12:56:23 PM
From: Neeka  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 225578
 
I just heard what Leahy said about Rogers Brown today. She has been described as the equivalent of a Jihadist. Actually he didn't coin the phrase, some unnamed "editorialist" from her home town newspaper did. Don't Jihadists ram airplanes into sky scrapers with the intention of killing as many innocent people as possible? Dems are now mad as hell that the truth of what FDR did at Malta is finally being discussed.

It's good to be back and able to keep up to speed on the battle. ;)

Good luck tonight.

M