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Politics : Politics for Pros- moderated -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Bill who wrote (134174)	8/26/2005 9:29:09 AM
From: MulhollandDrive	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 793694

meanwhile....more fallout on the robertson affair borowitzreport.com CASTRO BACKS VIOLENT OVERTHROW OF 700 CLUB Cuban Spies Set to Infiltrate Pat Robertson’s Production Staff, Audience Cuban president Fidel Castro announced in Havana today that his government is backing a violent overthrow of “The 700 Club,” the long-running television program hosted by controversial preacher Pat Robertson. Mr. Castro’s decision to attempt to topple Mr. Robertson was widely seen as a demonstration of solidarity with Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez, whom the televangelist proposed assassinating during Monday’s broadcast of the show. At a press conference in Havana, the Cuban president said that he was authorizing a flotilla of speedboats carrying Cuban spies to head for the United States to orchestrate the overthrow of “The 700 Club.” While Mr. Castro was sketchy about the details of the plot, calling them “super-secret,” an insider familiar with the plan said that it involves Cuban spies infiltrating Mr. Robertson’s production staff and audience and then staging an armed revolt during a broadcast of the program. “We’ll wait until Pat Robertson is distracted, probably when he’s getting all worked up about gay marriage or something, and then we’ll strike,” the insider said. According to the insider, the Cuban president waited a few days before deciding to overthrow “The 700 Club” because he was not sure at first exactly what “The 700 Club” was. “Fidel thought it was a club for people who weighed 700 pounds or more,” the insider said. “Then he was like, ‘No, that can’t be right.’” Elsewhere, domestic diva Martha Stewart announced that instead of saying “You’re fired” on her new spin-off of the NBC series “The Apprentice,” she will hold up a kitchen timer and go “ding.”