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Politics : Should God be replaced? -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Solon who wrote (22483)	9/11/2005 2:35:44 PM
From: Mike McFarland	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 28931

This has probably already been posted, but I used the SI search and it didn't find it here so I'll do it, it is very cute, perhaps not quite as clever as it should be, but I smiled a few times. The global warming pirates are pretty dang good. Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. venganza.org "His Noodly Appendage" ha, that's gold. Reminds me to rent Life of Brian. I must have seen it years ago, but cannot remember much, aside from that song. Hope I haven't wandered on to the wrong thread for this--is it blasphemous to make up gods which are not more convincing than Him? I assume Atheists drop in here to smirk and wink?

To: Solon who wrote (22483)	9/20/2005 11:11:40 AM
From: Solon	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 28931

Eeek's Guide To The Bible EIGHTEEN PRUNING TIME Many people think that killing people because they are from a different tribe is a cruel thing. Further---they find the idea of killing them with saws and axes and harrows very revolting. Here, once again, we find how distorted the atheist viewpoint is when it comes to understanding Holy words. It is clear when one reads this in context that this was NOT genocide at all. David did NOT "cut them with saws, and with harrows of iron, and with axes." Let us interpret this in light of Holy Inspiration as God guides our understanding. Where does one find a saw and an axe? The Blessed Children were not carrying these cumbersome tools around with them as they travelled from city to city? Surely, they had swords! They went only into homes where people owned their OWN saws and axes--in other words--TREE CUTTERS. This is the very reason that the deserts have been so deforested. God's children simply killed these inconsiderate children of Ammon (the ones who cut down trees) in order to save the environment. This is the same reason that Jesus cursed the fig tree when it did not bloom in the desert after all the efforts made by the soldiers of the merciful David. They also killed the people who owned harrows. Again, these people were ruining the ecology of the desert with their plows and harrows--ruining all the sand and destroying a delicate habitat. David's people were not dragging harrows around with them from city to city! But when they found people who owned harrows they simply harrowed the people. This would work much like a paper shredder. The average person reads the bible and is unaware of all these issues. THat is why it is so important to attend church at least on the Sabbath (and preferably EVERY day), so that those educated in the Word of the Lord can explain these points as they were intended by God. 1 Chronicles 20:3 And he brought out the people that were in it, and cut them with saws, and with harrows of iron, and with axes. Even so dealt David with all the cities of the children of Ammon. And David and all the people returned to Jerusalem Bless Jesus! The atheist is refuted once again! EeekBaptist