To: CalculatedRisk who wrote (40256 ) 10/31/2005 6:16:05 AM From: Chispas Respond to of 116555 Borowitz - "President Bush stripped Mr. Libby of the nickname 'Scooter' and replaced it with a new one, 'Lying Bastard'.."<g>borowitzreport.com .......................................... BUSH STRIPS LIBBY OF NICKNAME Renames Cheney Aide ‘Lying Bastard’ In Secret White House Ceremony Just hours after he was indicted on five counts in the investigation of the leak of a CIA officer's identity, Vice President Dick Cheney’s chief of staff I. Lewis Libby suffered another indignity as President George W. Bush stripped him of his nickname in a secret White House ceremony. During the solemn rite, which took place in the basement of the White House on Friday afternoon, President Bush stripped Mr. Libby of the nickname “Scooter” and replaced it with a new one, “Lying Bastard.” “Scooter Libby, I hereby dub thee Lying Bastard Libby,” a visibly angry Mr. Bush reportedly declared. According to a White House source, the president takes nicknames “very seriously” and therefore stripping a staffer of his playful moniker is the greatest punishment that Mr. Bush can levy on a subordinate who has found disfavor with him. “It’s something all of us dread,” said the source, whose own nickname is Chatty. “I’ll never forget what happened during the Katrina mess, when he changed [Former FEMA Chief] Michael Brown’s nickname from Brownie to Sluggo.” According to Professor Davis Logsdon of the University of Minnesota’s School of Law, Mr. Libby’s new nickname could come back to haunt him when his case eventually goes to trial: “When you put your hand on the Bible and say, ‘I, Lying Bastard Libby, swear to tell the truth,’ that could potentially hurt you with a jury.” Elsewhere, after announcing plans to appear in sequels of both “Rocky” and “Rambo,” Sylvester Stallone reassured moviegoers that he would not do a sequel of “Tango & Cash.” .............................................