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Politics : View from the Center and Left -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Lane3 who wrote (7149)	12/17/2005 11:15:06 AM
From: Rambi	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 541293

That down the road this expansion begins to interpret my reading of a book, a visit to my Muslim neighbor, as suspicious activity, and will lead to brownshirts knocking on my door. I know that's extreme, and it may not be a reality now, but I can't help but think this sort of thing starts innocently enough, with labels and suspicions. I would rather we keep the checks and balances in place, and not allow one branch to make its own decisions. I don't think the fact that I am an open book also is relevant. Who knows how else they will use the information?

To: Lane3 who wrote (7149)	12/17/2005 11:25:20 AM
From: Rambi	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 541293

A couple of years ago when the admin attempted the TIPS program, I did a column on it for the Star Telegram that addressed this topic with my usual highminded gravitas. You may have read it at the time, but it seems to fit here. _________________ Do you think you ought to hide that book before the piano tuner comes?” said my son, pointing to a copy of From Beirut to Jerusalem that was lying on the coffee table. “He might wonder why you’re a planning a trip in the Mideast.” “For heaven’s sake, it’s an educational book, not a travel brochure.” I said, but I hid it under a copy of Southern Living, which should be innocent enough, though maybe not as good as something of Martha Stewart’s. You know, it was bad enough when all we had to worry about was the Homeowner’s Association measuring the length of our grass or sending us a note informing us that the plastic pink flamingos and elves in the front flower beds were not funny and must be removed immediately. Then there was the summer drought a couple of years ago when the Water Police would come calling if you watered on the wrong day or at the wrong time. Maybe you could figure out that schedule they sent around but it was too complex for me. I will never forget lying awake terrified, listening to our illegal sprinkler hissing at midnight because I had forgotten to run it on my assigned day. I was sure at any moment I would hear the sound of heavy boots on the porch and be dragged from my bed, sobbing and begging for mercy, by men in beige shirts with guttural accents, who would haul me to a damp, moldy cell and subject me to hours of Chinese water torture. But all this pales next to the paranoid visions I am having after listening to the talking heads on my television discuss the new TIPS program. All those nice repair and delivery people who comprise my social life, the regular visitors whom I welcome into my home like old friends, are now going to be checking me out for suspicious behaviors? So today I am looking around my house for any indications that I could be a political subversive, engaged in activities dangerous to the nation before the piano tuner arrives. Of course I am immediately suspect as the cars in the driveway are Japanese and I am a very bad housekeeper, which is definitely un-American, according to the commercials. Will the exterminator surreptitiously sniff the spaghetti sauce on the stove to make sure I am not simmering some form of explosive? This could be trouble, as my cooking is always suspicious and frequently resembles a ninth grade science project. Will he look in my pantry for jars of nitro-jelly? Do I need to throw out the boxes of instant NearEast Rice? Will the cable guy read the labels on our home movies to see if there is one saying, “Family Vacation, 2001 - Touring the best nuclear power plants”? Will the plumber who comes to unclog the boys’ toilet sweep samples of Desenex foot powder from the sink counter into plastic baggies to make sure we’re not creating biological hazards in their bathroom? This actually is not a far-fetched possibility now that I think about it. I have long suspected their bathroom of harboring mutant forms of bacteria and seldom go in there. I am worried about our neighbors’ children, too. Last week we had a new dishwasher installed, and I happened to mention to the nice young man installing it how cute the neighbor’s children looked running around with those striped towels wrapped around their heads --like miniArafats. They were coming home from swimming lessons, but how would he know that? Did he race back to his truck and report this questionable fashion statement? He was wearing Docker khaki shorts, a polo shirt and a Texas Ranger ballcap- no questioning his patriotism. I hate the thought that seven year old Abby will enter second grade with an FBI file on her and wonder if I should call her mother. We are not helpless, of course. I’m planning on taking measures to protect us. I have put a couple of those fake plastic apple pies on the stove, the kind my sons always tried to eat in model homes. We are strewing their old baseball gloves and jock straps around the living room, just like old times, and I have a CD of Sousa marches ready to play whenever I see someone coming up the walk with a delivery. My son offered to spraypaint Myers the Cat red, white and blue, and I am even considering hanging a velvet Elvis over the fireplace. You can’t get more American than that, can you?