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To: TA4U who wrote (68)	1/15/2006 10:49:34 PM
From: Swami	Respond to of 78

Had a good chuckle reading this and largely true ;) OH BTW i became Tory overnight LOL Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers. Theylived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coastand live on fish and lobster in winter. The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beerand the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented toget man to the beer. These were the foundations of modern civilization and togetherwere the catalyst for the division of humanity into two distinct subgroups: Liberals and Conservatives. Other sub-groups tended to appear at times like the NDP and the Greens but these were soon discovered as aberrations of the Liberals and tended to die off prematurely. Once beer was discovered it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early human ancestors were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed. Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as "the Conservative movement." Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the Conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as 'girliemen.' Some noteworthy Liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy and group hugs and the concept of democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that the Conservatives provided. Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury lawyers, journalists, dreamers in Hollywoodand group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated multicultural rule because it wasn’t “fair" to have a Canadian cultural identity. Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, soldiers, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living. Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern" the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Canadians. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to Canada. They crept in after the West was settled and created a business of trying to get MORE for nothing. Here ends today's lesson in world history: It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it and assert that Conservatives are "scary" and have a "hidden agenda".A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other "true believers" in the supreme righteousness of Conservative thought. While it may be true that these facts are mildly distorted, I’ll bet you ended up with a smile, unless of course you are from Ontario and always vote Liberal which tends to keep Canada in a perpetual status of mediocrity.