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Politics : Canadian Political Free-for-All -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Cogito Ergo Sum who wrote (8664)	3/2/2006 4:57:39 AM
From: average joe	Respond to of 37916

REGINA (SBP) - Claiming a successful and open dialogue with the hated Americans, Saskatchewan Premier Lorne Calvert returned from his recent tour of the United States to report that, although he temporarily showed affections for the neighboring country down south in order to get their money, he's back to hating them again now that he's back home. "Before I return to scaring the public by openly bashing Americans again, I just want to say that we love American money," said Calvert, "If there was anything positive to say about the Americans, it is their money and we want more of it in our province." Citing that he could "actually buy stuff" with American money, the premier was truly awed by his unfamiliar experience. Said Calvert: "I could exchange this internationally respected piece of paper for goods and services. It was amazing!" Calvert had other epiphanies as well. "Another thing we discovered is that the Americans are people, just like us," said the stunned Premier, "Yes, putting a personal face on Americans makes it a little harder to hate them now, but, I'm sure that feeling will pass when a provincial election comes around and it's time to scare the civil servants into voting for us yet again." Premier Calvert took the lead from the federal version of the NDP who openly attacked Canada's largest trading partner during the recent federal elections and won more seats than they had in over a decade. "Hating Americans is clearly a working formula," said Calvert, "Look at the federal NDP's success with a campaign of creating fear of our closest neighbor. We will likely take their lead and continue to smear the Americans. "Canadians just eat that up. It reminds them of that beer commercial that got so much attention 6 years ago." When asked how he would deal with the consequences of insulting Canada's largest trading partner and most important ally, the Premier revealed his plan to make amends. Responded Calvert: "Let me just say two words that should satisfy everyone's concerns; Tommy. Douglas. "Everyone remembers Tommy, right? Saskatchewan is the home of medicare! Doesn't everyone feel better now?" With a provincial election looming in the next 2 years, the Premier has no future plans to visit the United States as it may harm his image and make him look sympathetic to the "scary, American-style of people" south of the border. saskabush.com