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Pastimes : Things That Amuse Me -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: mph who wrote (12285)	3/10/2006 5:27:42 AM
From: Tom Clarke	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 12669

Product Warnings: * "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs. * "For external use only!" -- On a curling iron. * "Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron. * "Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer. * "Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer. * "Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device. * "Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket. * "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan. * "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists. * "This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool. * "Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant. * "Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard. * "Caution: This is not a safety protective device." -- On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn. * "Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter. * "Battery may explore or leak." -- On a battery. # "Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer. # "Not intended for highway use." -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow. # "This product is not to be used in bathrooms." -- On a Holmes bathroom heater. # "May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray. # "Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock." # "Caution! Contents hot!" -- On a Domino's Pizza box. # "Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup. # "Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee. # "Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush. # "Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife. # "Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less." -- On a birthday card for a 1 year old. # "Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use." -- On a battery. # "Warning: Do not use on eyes." -- In the manual for a heated seat cushion. # "Do not look into laser with remaining eye." -- On a laser pointer. # "Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven. # "For use on animals only." -- On an electric cattle prod. # "For use by trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener. # "Keep out of reach of children and teenagers." -- On a can of air freshener. # "Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror. # "Warning: Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to the forceful injection of water into body cavities either by falling into the water or while mounting the craft." -- In the manual for a jetski. # "Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm. # "Do not use as ear plugs." -- On a package of silly putty. # "Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator." -- On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia. # "Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone. # "Not for weight control." -- On a pack of Breath Savers. # "Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth." -- On the label of a bottled drink. # "Theft of this container is a crime." -- On a milk crate. # "Do not use intimately." -- On a tube of deodorant. # "Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison. # "Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757. # "Cannot be made non-poisonous." -- On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid. # "Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller. # "Excessive dust may be irritating to shin and eyes." -- On a tube of agarose powder, used to make gels. # "Look before driving." -- On the dash board of a mail truck. # "Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for a Rowenta iron. # "Do not drive car or operate machinery." -- On Boot's children's cough medicine. # "For indoor or outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights. # "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -- On a child sized Superman costume. # "This door is alarmed from 7:00pm - 7:00am." -- On a hospital's outside access door. # "Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station. # "Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems." -- On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets. # "Product will be hot after heating." -- On a supermarket dessert box. # "Do not turn upside down." -- On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box. # "Do not light in face. Do not expose to flame." -- On a lighter. # "Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball." -- On the label for a cheap rubber ball toy. # "Not for human consumption." -- On a package of dice. # "May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers. # "Using Ingenio cookware to destroy your old pots may void your warranty." -- A printed message that appears in a television advertisement when the presenter demonstrates how strong the cookware is by using it to beat up and destroy a regular frying pan. # "Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw. # "Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." -- From a manual for an SGI computer. # "Warning: May contain nuts." -- On a package of peanuts. # "Do not eat." -- On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing. # "Do not eat if seal is missing." -- On said seal. # "Remove occupants from the stroller before folding it." # "Access hole only -- not intended for use in lifting box." -- On the sides of a shipping carton, just above cut-out openings which one would assume were handholds. # "Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills. # "Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle. # "Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer. # "Turn off motor before using this product." -- On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain. # "Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame. # "Do not put in mouth." -- On a box of bottle rockets. # "Remove plastic before eating." -- On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack. # "Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV. # "For lifting purposes only." -- On the box for a car jack. # "Do not put lit candles on phone." -- On the instructions for a cordless phone. # "Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch. rinkworks.com