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Politics : Ask Michael Burke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Knighty Tin who wrote (103794)	4/6/2006 3:47:08 PM
From: Pogeu Mahone	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 132070

I saw that. Sad and pathetic not funny at all. =================== Rodney Dangerfield Jokes -I’m not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price. -I tell you, I’m not a sexy guy. I was the centerfold for Playgirl magazine. The staples covered everything! -What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me! -Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide." He told me from now on I have to pay in advance. -When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, "We want five thousand dollars or you’ll see your kid again. -I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over! -What a dog I got. His favorite bone is in my arm! -I worked in a pet store and people kept asking how big I’d get. -My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. -I’ll tell ya, my wife and I, we don’t think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless! -My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. -I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great uncle fought for the west! -My mother had morning sickness after I was born. -My mother never breastfed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. -I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. -One year they wanted to make me poster boy... for birth control. -I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. -When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me. -I met the surgeon general. He offered me a cigarette. -One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife! -I’m a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me. -My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. -Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. -A hooker once told me she had a headache. -If it weren’t for pick-pocketers, I’d have no sex life at all. -I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. -I knew a girl so ugly, she had a face like a saint--a Saint Bernard! -I was tired one night and I went to the bar to have a few drinks. The bartender asked me, What’ll you have? I said, Surprise me. He showed me a naked picture of my wife. -My marriage is on the rocks again. Yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend. -I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. He told me to wear a brown necktie. -And we were poor too. Why, if I wasn’t born a boy, I’d have nothing to play with!