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Politics : GOPwinger Lies/Distortions/Omissions/Perversions of Truth -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: JakeStraw who wrote (70199)	6/23/2006 10:39:43 AM
From: puborectalis	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 173976

Fresh from the laboratory: > The New Element > > The recent hurricanes and gasoline issues are proof of the existence of > a new chemical element. A major research institution has recently > announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. > > The new element has been named "Governmentium." Governmentium (Gv) has > one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 > assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. > > These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are > surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. > > Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be > detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into > contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that > would normally take less than a second to take over four days to > complete. > > Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; It does not decay, but > instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant > neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's > Mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will > cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. > > This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe > that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical > concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical > morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium > - an element which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since > it has half as many peons, but twice as many morons.