To: TimF who wrote (68681 ) 7/4/2007 12:05:16 PM From: Rambi Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 71178 Happy 4th! Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day? >My tire was thumping. >I thought it was flat >When I looked at the tire... >I noticed your cat. >Sorry! >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Heard your wife left you, >How upset you must be. >But don't fret about it... >She moved in with me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >Looking back over the years >that we've been together, I can't help but wonder... >"What the hell was I thinking?" > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >Congratulations on your wedding day! >Too bad no one likes your husband. >! ! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >How could two people as beautiful as you >Have such an ugly baby? > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >I've always wanted to have >someone to hold, >someone to love. >After having met you . > >I've changed my mind. >---------------------------------------------------------- > I must admit, you brought Religion into my life. >I never believed in Hell until I met you. _________________________________________ >As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... >That you're not here to ruin it for me. > #################################################### >Congratulations on your promotion. >Before you go... >Would you like to take this knife out of my back? >You'll probably need it again. >************************************************************* >Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! >(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky , West Virginia & Arkansas ) >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > >Happy birthday! You look great for your age. > >Almost Lifelike! > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >When we were together, >you always said you'd die for me. >Now that we've broken up, > >I think it's time you kept your promise. >/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// >We have been friends for a very long time . > >let's say we stop? >+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ > >I'm so miserable without you > >it's almost like you're here. >===================================================== >Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. >Did you ever find out who the father was? > %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% > >Your friends and I wanted to do >something special for your birthday. > >So we're having you put to sleep. >))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) >So your daughter's a hooker, >and it spoiled your day. >Look at the bright side, >it's really good pay