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To: Sun Tzu who wrote (212779)	7/20/2007 6:20:19 PM
From: Bridge Player	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 794041

I fear that your concept of the meaning of "poor parenting" is quite vastly different than mine. By that term, I would mean failure to teach values, discipline, choosing proper friends, frugality, respect for teachers, a yearning to learn, and other similar things. IMO if a parent sincerely desires to teach these things, they will be taught regardless of the length of maternity leave, the cost of healthcare, or the amount of time spent with children.

To: Sun Tzu who wrote (212779)	7/20/2007 6:24:45 PM
From: Lane3	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 794041

If you were them facing this problem, what would you have done? Duh, if I didn't have an spare $400 laying around, I wouldn't have been having even one baby let alone three so it's moot. Poor parenting starts long before the child is born. It starts when prospective parents fail to pay off the student loans, etc., before discarding the birth control. The more affordable and effective you can make education, medical expenses, daycare, transportation, and safety concerns, the more likely it is that parents will have to work fewer hours and can focus more on their kids. Well, yeah, but by the time you address daycare needs or safe neighborhoods, you're merely mitigating the symptom, not solving the problem, and in the process perpetuating by your attitude the problem in others who will also come to think they don't need more than $400 of available cash, a home in a nice neighborhood, and either a family child-care resource or the money to pay for daycare before they produce a kid. But that would mean I'd have to drive to work for 3hrs everyday Where did you get the notion that children don't require sacrifices? I know. From the folks who have adopted the notion that employers should be expected to provide two years of maternity leave.

To: Sun Tzu who wrote (212779)	7/20/2007 10:54:05 PM
From: MJ	Respond to of 794041

It's unfortunate that this scenario has happened for you and many families. This is the direct result of the womens lib movement of the 1980's. The feminists wanted to shift the families job to the government. Being a stay at home mother was not considered of value to society---------we all need jobs, turn the care of the children over to the government day care after school or pay for private daycare or a nanny. The bottom line is that someone needs to be at home with the children when the children are not in school. In a two parent family it is easily doable with a little creative thinking. Being a stay at home Mom or a stay at home Dad is a great profession---------no need for the government to pay for this. The stay at home parent is doing a job that would in the corporate world be a $50K and more tax free. That is quite an unseen contribution to a families income. In a single parent family it is also possible to have a family that functions well and raises their children to be productive members of society. If anything the children in those families may be more determine to suceed because of the lack of a second parent. The case you cite with the woman with triplets is unique. Most women don't have triplets. Without knowing the family and the details surrounding their decisions to have the children and their jobs it's impossible to say what one could do if you were the parents. Certainly they must have thought about having triplets and how they would handle three babes-----there are so many non-government ways for them to have financial help if they need it to raise these children. mj@noordinaryhousewife.com