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Politics : American Presidential Politics and foreign affairs -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: calgal who wrote (23531)	10/20/2007 5:52:47 PM
From: calgal	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 71588

So are they actually smarter than a fifth grader? By Brad Dickson jewishworldreview.com \| According to a new report just out airline security screeners missed up to 75% of fake bomb materials which were covertly smuggled past them at the following airports: Los Angeles International, Chicago's O'Hare and San Francisco International, together known as "The Axis of Evil." I know what you're thinking. What do we have to fear from fake bombs? Well, nothing, but the deal is, this means that these screeners could potentially miss real bombs as well. See what I mean? I bring this up because security screeners missing up to 75% of fake bombs was not given much play by the media, what with the fate of Ellen's dog still up in the air. There's also the fact that security screeners have a valid excuse. They're much too engaged with their collection of nail clippers from over 200 countries to look for fake bombs. And while they missed most of the faux explosive devices smuggled past them in carry-on luggage the security screeners at LAX and O'Hare have yet to miss a container of shampoo over 3.4 ounces. Which means nobody will ever again commandeer a plane with a bottle of Head & Shoulders. But all this doesn't seem to faze many Americans. The lines for most flights are so deep in humanity, from space that they resemble the Million Man March if every guy in the Million Man March was toting gigantic carry-on bags. Flying today is a crowded, miserable experience, as well as a crapshoot. I'm as uncomfortable flying the commercial airlines as I would be going on a ride at a carnival or state fair. But apparently this doesn't bother many Americans either. Despite regular news reports that amusement park and carnival attractions with names like "The Cyclonic Regurgitator" and "The Antisocial Discombobelator " either, A. leave a group of people stranded upside down for an entire weekend, or, B, "derail" at warp speed sending humans into rotation around the earth until they hit something hard, we continue to ride them. Even Disneyland is not immune. Occasionally a group of tourists in mouse ears are catapulted from a ride and hurled through air until they're impaled atop "The Happiest Place On Earth" sign. I use this example because in my mind flying commercial and riding an amusement park ride are similar. The major difference being that if you get on an amusement park ride in, say, Dallas, you have a better chance of arriving in Chicago that night than if you board a commercial airliner. San Francisco scored better than O'Hare and LAX in the fake bomb test because they utilize private screeners. All the airport screeners in L.A. and Chicago are under control of an organization called the TSA, which stands for Traveling Scary Airlines. This Traveling Scary Airlines group requires all the agents to go through a rigorous pre-employment exam consisting of walking and chewing gum at the same time. What can be done to improve the efficiency of the TSA? Aside from ordering the agents to check luggage for bombs, which is impossible, nothing can be done. So we continue to fly, hoping that nothing goes wrong, silently cursing the security screeners for feeling up our wives and confiscating our kid's X-Box while missing the large contraption marked "Fake Bomb". I'd love to write more, but I have to be in New York by morning and have a roller coaster to catch. jewishworldreview.com