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Politics : Formerly About Advanced Micro Devices -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: RetiredNow who wrote (359329)	11/19/2007 12:10:01 PM
From: longnshort	Respond to of 1588735

I don't think Norman Liebmann likes Hitlery: A Bixxh FOR ALL SEASONS by Norman Liebmann Recently Hillary Clinton returned to her alma mater to address the alumnae, sometimes called “the Stratford Bimbos” at Wellesley’s Auditorium for small talk aptly named “Amoeba Hall”. Hillary’s appearance there was, presumably, to give that institution another coat of withering condescension. The occasion coincided with Wellesely’s nomination of their Woman of the Year by The ##### Press - sometimes called The Nag Stream Media. Wellesley is said to be the college that offers a course in Mean-Spirited Estrogenics - which is a kind of chutzpa at floodtide. It is one of those smarmy institutions of higher learning where you can get educated and still remain misinformed. It is known that many Wellesley graduates are media-focused. Often they go into cable TV where they become Producers of lesbian soap operas. Irrespective of the conventional wisdom Hillary herself is not a case-hardened lesbian – although some contend that particular case is still under appeal. Additionally, courses in Cinema are being taught there by many of the Hollywood treason elite. Hillary was greeted with the tumultuous sound of female minds being slammed shut. It was the most exciting event to echo through those squealing galleries since Betty Friedan showed them the scar from the surgery that restored her hymen. The evening also featured a slide show of allergic symptoms and hysterical reactions acquired as a result of close contact with heterosexuals. Hillary urged it is time for women to psych themselves up for the coming American Gender Wars. She acknowledged her debt to Wellesley for prepping her for combat with “The Boys’ Club”. Indeed, if there is a “Boys’ Club”, the best she could hope for is to be their door prize. If she represents anything to “The Boys’ Club” it is domestic suffocation. She archly suggested to this Wellesley hen party that she still knows how to bake cookies, although to a Wellesley girl a cookie is that thing she’s sitting on. Hillary carried the inspiring message to those wenches that she is the living proof that the predestined way to political power is a dirt road through the Ozarks, and that any Wellesley whacko can marry a yokel ruthless enough to horseshit his way into high political office. Anyone who knows her believes Arkansas was Hillary’s Siberia. She “kvelled” in anticipation that she and Bill would break new ground by becoming the first married couple to have their images sculpted side by side on Mount Trashmore. After listening to Hillary harangue, the distaff audience was left with the conclusion that there are two sides to every question – or even less. Hillary confirmed the wispy premise that women are not only equal to men - but equal-er. She inferred that until women acquired a college education, men had no one to ask how much to tip a waiter (although recent events indicate in her case it is an unnecessary ritual.) She promulgated the idea that women must assume a greater influence on the future of the nation revealing, “Until Bill married me he didn’t know there was anything wrong with him”. The years of fulsome puffery of the Clintons by the media has left behind a choking and gagging miasma of pop-mythology. Despite this public relations saturation, pigs will wallow in the Clinton legacy. Because of the increased media overflow when they come upon Hillary’s legacy, pigs will tiptoe around it. We must assume God had an altruistic purpose in creating journalists. After all, if He hadn't created squirrels, we'd be up to our axxes in acorns. HILLARY’S AGENDA Mrs. Clinton has already had the temerity to say what she’s going to do in the White House “… when I’m President again!” Apparently the lady considers the inevitable return to the White House her “Third Term”. Death penalty inmates don’t require a second lethal injection –nor does America require a third. Two weeks into a Hillary term as Commander-in-Chief of the military and you won’t be able to tell the difference between the Pentagon and the Powder Room. She has spent as much time in the War Room as her husband did in Viet Nam. Hillary’s idea of foreign diplomacy is talking to a United Nations delegate without mentioning the bone through his nose. Her approach to minority discontent is to find a middle ground which she believes lies somewhere between reparations and riot. She wants to narrow the disparity between all victims – whether in denial and out. Hillary alluded to her plan to deal with Iran by dispatching SAC to shower Teheran with sentimental Hallmark cards. Hillary now proposes to squander taxpayer money on a Woodstock Museum, a monument to her contemporaries - those drugged-out hippies who have reached an age where their “pushers” have passed on and they are reduced to crushing up ibuprofen tablets and snorting them. Woodstock proved that what America needs more than a hippy retrospective is a virus that attacks the central nervous system of electric guitars. HILLARYCARE STRIKES AGAIN Hillary has announced her new budget-busting healthcare program, despite the fact that the last one she conjured up is still in need of medical attention. In the new version of Hillarycare every hospital will be required to have an Intensive Poor Unit. If you don’t have an affordable disease, you go to the hospital and they will infect you with one. You must have a disease the government can afford. She proposes to make available to illegal aliens an infection that they can spread through American Hospitals called Waiting Room Fever. She will establish clinics where impoverished women who are not with child can go to terminate unwanted appendectomies. Hillary’s new birth control program includes an unpleasant and somewhat embarrassing surgical procedure that would cause men’s ejaculations to boomerang. She will appoint a Board of Obstetricians to support her theory that foreplay itself causes pregnancy. Hillary contends that brevity is the soul of sex, and says the time is at hand to close the gap between safe sex and no sex. [Note: Gynecologists have diagnosed that desuetude has caused Hillary’s vagina to develop an echo. Spiritualists proposed that a séance be held to see if it’s haunted.] She believes Medicine is very near a breakthrough in finding a cure for sex – which is what Bill decided Hillary was after he married her. (Hillary is unique among Wellesley women whose complaint about rape is “It’s over so fast”.) WHO IS HILLARY? Hillary’s innate viciousness became apparent at an early age. She still remembers with great affection a primer about how to get even with those elementary school classmates she didn’t like, called "A Child's Garden of Revenge”. Hillary still displays that irascible temper that made her a ferocious competitor in the athletic event called the Hop Skip and Lamp Throw. Despite the polish and supposed manicuring she acquired at Wellesley, Hillary has a vocabulary that would occasion blushes in the fo’c’s’le of a pirate ship. Her abrasive manner inspires many to have anointed her with the sobriquet “Catherine the Grit”. The Monica Lewinsky affair, which Hillary casually dismissed as a Vast Right Wing Conspiracy, left her with more bitterness in her heart than Angostura’s has in its main warehouse, and thoughts blacker than anything the Exxon Valdez spilled into Prince William Sound. For Hillary, a day without schadenfreude is a day without sunshine. Hillary is often busy sending out Don’t Get Well Cards. She would put Chelsea to sleep reading to her from the day’s obituary columns. Hillary is in essence America’s ex-wife. She comes as a godsend to any wimp who feels like he needs a shrew in his life. She believes she will not only get the support of women, but the endorsement of the men in the country who feel they have been nagging-deprived. Hillary believes a Divine Providence has awarded her dominion over every man’s genitals. Her selective inattention to truth meshes perfectly with Bill Clinton's depravity. She has assumed the function of feminism’s steering committee. The upkeep of her appearance has moved from cosmetics to special effects. Bill introduces her to people as “my first wife” – just to keep her on her toes. Americans can expect nothing to change in a Hillary White House. Arrogance and corruption will continue to reign. If Bill and Hillary ever get a divorce it will be on the grounds of irreconcilable similarities. And this … If we want a conniving, grasping, sniveling bxxch in the White House, let’s run Heather Mills. At least she’s been on Dancing with the Stars.