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Politics : Formerly About Advanced Micro Devices -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: combjelly who wrote (359448)	11/20/2007 8:53:57 AM
From: steve harris	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 1575348

Got a link to your GAO report or are you making shit up again? whitehouse.org ITEMIZATION OF TAXPAYER PROPERTY DAMAGE: 1600 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, WASHINGTON D.C. Location: Briefing Room Damage: Paper clip on floor Location: Communications Bullpen Damage: Dust on tops of door frames Location: Rose Garden Damage: Discarded Snickers bar wrapper caught in shrubbery Location: West Wing (multiple offices) Damage: Microscopic scratches on tops of desks, "W" keys forcibly removed from keyboards of standard-issue 1996 Compaq Presario computers Location: Ladies Restroom Damage: Tampon dispensers empty, three (3) toilets left overflowing and clogged with aborted fetuses Location: Diplomatic Foyer Damage: Hand-painted 14" bronze Presidential Seal unlawfully removed (replaced with Alcoholics Anonymous motivational plaque) Location: Cabinet Room Damage: Vice President's chair gilded. Also, fifteen (15) copies of "The Complete Mongoloid's Guide to One Term Presidencies" glued to conference table surface. Location: Printer Pool Damage: Photomontages depicting simian-themed treason inserted into printer paper trays Location: Roosevelt Room Damage: Too many appliances plugged into single outlet, extension cord running under carpet Location: Oval Office Damage: Personal-sized cocaine mirror monogrammed "GWB" taped to underside of President's desk. Counterfeit fingerprints of current President placed on same (method unknown). Cocaine currently unaccounted for. Location: Lincoln Bedroom Damage: Pubic lice infestation of vintage bed linens. Bedside ATM machine vandalized. Location: North Lawn Damage: Area directly beneath Mr. and Mrs. Bush's private residence is strewn with discarded distilled spirits bottles and pretzel bags. Location: Library Damage: Wholesale replacement of books with the complete archives of Sports Illustrated magazine Location: Office #2C (Formerly occupied by First Lady Hillary Clinton) Damage: Filing cabinet drawers lined with explicit centerfolds from "Liberal Bull Dykes Quarterly" Location: On every table and flat surface in the White House Damage: Security has retrieved 1,457 cardboard coasters sporting a photograph of George H. W. Bush (the 41st) and Jennifer Fitzgerald in an athletic, yet solely platonic entanglement with the greeting: "President Bush and his girlfriend welcome you to the White House." Location: Men's Room Damage: Soap dispensers left empty, "Glory Hole" anonymous sex conduits drilled through stall walls. (Mr. Rove insists these remain - in testament to the prurience of the previous administration.) Location: Kitchen Damage: Someone wrote "Helter Skelter" on the Sub-Zero with bar-b-que sauce Location: West Wing Coffee Nook Damage: Someone used a label-maker to affix an out-of-context George W. Bush quotation: "Coffee - the second best upper to come out of Columbia!" Location: Diplomatic Reception Room Damage: Waste baskets left unemptied Location: Intern Lounge Damage: Large holes in walls, ceiling and floor left during uninstallation of sado-masochistic gymnasium equipment. Location: Basement Boiler Room Damage: "BUBBA WUZ HERE" written on floor in several quarts of crusted-over man jelly