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To: Neeka who wrote (20779)	1/4/2008 5:26:38 PM
From: Naomi	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 25073

I second that Neeka. The patience he shows and the delight of keeping her safe and happy is very apparent. An Angel among men and she is surely blessed to have him by her side for all the years he has done so.

To: Neeka who wrote (20779)	1/4/2008 5:40:28 PM
From: John Carragher	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 25073

now i have had my bad days.. ya know. g ot no medals i love what i am doing. she is very easy to care for. it makes a big difference. i am doing what a lot of elderly are doing each day and it never gets much attention for some reason. I hear more horror stories over their clients care. it is a very sad situation, a great many elderly get little care from family, relatives or friends. in a lot of cases the family cannot face it or take on the responsibilities.. something as simple as changing a diaper. aides will find clients in the same diaper they put on them the prior day. Or those alone , a nurse will come into the house and find them on the floor unable to get up. etc etc. when we were young our parents took care of their parents or relatives or in laws. there never was a question, it was the thing to do. i have been very protective of my wife for decades so found it difficult to accept help. when we couldn't get down stairs to the car any longer i needed someone to come in take her blood sample. that was when the nurses couldn't believe what i had been doing for years. with in two weeks i had social workers in here , nurses and an aide which i really didn't let help much, until after a month or so of washing her. i finally felt it was safe and she wouldn't hurt her. g support consists of aide five times a week (one hour) to wash her and nurse once or twice a week. to take blood sample for her blood thinner medication adjustments and take bp check out lungs.. that is more than enough for me. with the nurse visits i know the situation and do not get hung up on something else happening. the big thing is we are very happy, i joke and tease her daily. i mix up meals, and we are together a lot.. it makes a big deal in how she has survived. i see it her eyes , she wakes up not knowing where she is, she does know most times how sick she is.. but you can see fear in her eyes until she sees me in the bed next to her or standing by her. my mind goes back to how could people in nursing homes adjust to waking , not knowing anyone or having a loved one by their side. listening to banging, crying down the halls or in the bed next to you all day and night long. Having a soiled diaper and not getting changed for an hour or hours.. being hungary but not time to eat. or ask for a snack etc. or get your favorite foods. of course i have pulled my shoulder out by straining it, pulling her up the bed as they slide down. i thought once i had a hernia but it was a strain.. which i have done dozens of time until now i must be all muscle in the lower stomach area. a significant other , not in good health or strong enough to move a person on their sides or up on the bed cannot really handle care on their own.