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Politics : Liberalism: Do You Agree We've Had Enough of It? -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: JeffA who wrote (28757)	5/21/2008 7:27:23 PM
From: Ann Corrigan	Respond to of 224757

Here's your punishment for encouraging me with applause: The Difference Between Jesuits and Other Religious Orders: An Augustinian, a Franciscan, and a Jesuit all die and get to heaven. Jesus asks each one, "If you could go back, what would you change"? The Augustinian ponders a while and says, "There's so much sin in the world. If I went back, I'd try and stop people from sinning so much." The Franciscan thinks a bit and says, "There's so much poverty in the world. If I went back, I'd try and get people to share more of their wealth with the poor." The Jesuit looks at Jesus and quickly replies, "If I went back, I'd change my doctor." *********************************************** A Franciscan gets a haircut, and then asks how much he owes. The barber says he never charges clergy. The Franciscan thanks the barber and the next day there's a big basket of fresh bread from the Franciscans' kitchens. An Augustinian gets his hair cut by the same barber. The barber says he never charges clergy. So, the next day the barber receives a nice bottle of wine from the Augustinians' wine cellar. A Jesuit gets his haircut. The barber again says he never charges clergy. The next day there are twelve Jesuits waiting for him when he gets to work. ******************************************************* A Jesuit and a Franciscan sat down to dinner, and pie was served for dessert. There were two pieces of pie, one cut smaller than the other. The Jesuit reached over and took the larger piece for himself. The Franciscan remonstrated, "St. Francis always taught us to take the meaner piece." So the Jesuit replied, "And so you have it!" ******************************************************* What is similar about the Jesuit and Dominican Orders? Well, they were both founded by Spaniards, St. Dominic for the Dominicans, and St. Ignatius of Loyola for the Jesuits. They were also both founded to combat heresy: the Dominicans to fight the Albigensians, and the Jesuits to fight the Protestants. What is different about the Jesuit and Dominican Orders? Well, have you met any Albigensians lately? [Note: This joke is obviously told from a Dominican perspective. The Jesuit response would be: "That's because we didn't use swords!"]