Once there was a little arch rival who wanted to run away and bedevil someone else.
So he said to his nemesis, "I am running away to go bother someone else."
"If you run away," said his nemesis, "I will run after you. For you are my little arch rival."
"If you run after me," said the little arch rival, "I will become a fish in a trout stream and I will swim away from you, and make you fall in the stream, and hopefully you will drown."
"If you become a fish in a trout stream," said his nemesis, "I will become a fisherman and I will fish for you, and maybe kill you and eat you."
"If you become a fisherman," said the little arch rival, "I will become a rock on the mountain, high above you, and I will fall on your head and bash your brains out."
"If you become a rock on the mountain high above me," said his nemesis, "I will be a mountain climber and I will climb to where you are, and knock you off and you will shatter in to a million pieces.'
"If you become a mountain climber," said the little arch rival, "I will be a poisonous crocus in a hidden garden, and I will look like something edible, and you will eat me and die."
"If you become a crocus in a hidden garden," said his nemesis, "I will be a gardener. And I will find you, and pull you up by the roots and throw you in the green waste."
"If you are a gardener and find me," said the little arch rival, "I will be a bird and fly away from you, right after I crap on your head."
"If you become a bird and fly away from me," said his nemesis, "I will be a tree that you come home to, and I will make sure cats can climb up me, and eat you."
"If you become a tree," said the little arch rival, "I will become a little sailboat, and I will sail away from you, again, hoping you will drown in pursuit."
"If you become a sailboat and sail away from me," said his nemesis, "I will become the wind and blow you in to a reef, and then you'll sink."
"If you become the wind and blow me," said the little arch rival, "I will join a circus and fly away on a flying trapeze, and tell the knife thrower you are a pervert and he should throw knives at you."
"If you go flying on a flying trapeze, and tell the knife thrower to assault me" said his nemesis, "I will be a tightrope walker and I will walk across the air for you, carrying a gun, since I believe in the 2nd amendment like the small majority on the Supreme Court."
"If you become a tightrope walker and walk across the air toward me with a gun, " said the arch rival, "I will become a little boy and run into a house, and tell everyone a child molester is chasing me."
"If you become a little boy and run into a house, and tell everyone a child molester is chasing you" said the arch rival, "I will become your mother and catch you in my arms and hug you, and tell everyone you have mental problems and need to be institutionalized even though I love you so very very much, and oh how I will miss my little boy when he is locked up in the care facility."
"Shucks," said the first arch rival, "I might just as well stay where I am and be your little arch rival."
And so he did.
"Have a carrot, " said the second arch rival.
"Is it poisoned?" asked the first arch rival.
"Try it and see..." Said the second.
The End |
