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Pastimes : Discussion Thread -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: c.hinton who wrote (3043)	12/15/2008 11:34:28 AM
From: one_less	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 3816

Making social comparisons, especially of one's children is damaging to their psyche. A comment that starts with 'why can't you be more like ...,' is like a dagger to the heart of a child. Referring to an older child as a role model for younger ones is appropriate as long as it is clear that there is room for choice and individuality. Children have varying dispositions, talents, interests, and abilities but that should never lead to a comparison which is measured as approval, acceptability, or love from a parent. In healthy families where there is a child with a disability, that child is just as loved as the others. Why would it be any different in healthy families where all the children fall in the norm range.

To: c.hinton who wrote (3043)	12/15/2008 11:37:40 AM
From: jlallen	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 3816

Of course, they are all humans...and different as individuals......but even if one has a sweeter disposition or any of the other things you mentioned, why would that make me love one or another more or less....? As a parent I love them all as individuals. Even the fact that some may need more help or guidance though life does not mean I would prefer one over another....and, of course being children they have ALL complained at one time or another that we have preferred one over another.....that's what a kid does.....and as far as perfect harmony....you can imagine that with five of them that is next to impossible....but again...how would that make you love them less......unless maybe they were violent or abusive....its just doesn;t work that way for me....or luckily for me for their Mom either... Maybe your love can not be divided in equal measure...but you don't speak for me....