Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Politics : Formerly About Advanced Micro Devices -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Tenchusatsu who wrote (494964)	7/13/2009 9:53:16 PM
From: TopCat	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 1571736

"I take back what I said and apologize." I'm sorry, but if Moonbeam can sit in front of his computer all day and go to the gym like he says he does, he's not too disabled to have a desk job doing most anything that is productive. You can feel sorry for him if you want...but I don't.

To: Tenchusatsu who wrote (494964)	7/14/2009 12:17:08 AM
From: tejek	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 1571736

You don't know much about it because I have been too ashamed to say very much. After experiencing the bad times in LA, I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder. I went from being able to run a mile to getting winded simply crossing the street. I began to get bronchitis every three to four months. After a bout, I could not walk from the kitchen to the bathroom without stopping along the way to rest. Typically, it would take a month to recover and be able to go back to the gym. BTW I have to go to the gym as part of keeping my lungs functioning. I was taking steroids, singulair and using a bronchi dilator every day. I developed severe asthma and became extremely allergic to dustmites which are ubiquitous. That means I have to change and wash my bed linens twice a week. I have had to enclose my mattress, box springs and pillows with hypoallergenic covers that have to be changed every week. Trying to take off and put back on a dustcover on a king size mattress is hard enough for someone able bodied but for someone like me it is a nightmare. I can only wear clothes once before washing them again. I have to wash the blinds in my room once each month. I have to break down my bed once every three months and clean everything including the frame. All paper in my house is enclosed in plastic. My clothes are enclosed in plastic. There is no soft material in my house. Vinyl encases my furniture. I eat very little during the day.....because eating releases fluids which block the passageways in your lungs and make breathing more difficult. I basically move as little as possible so that I put little pressure on my lungs. About 5 years ago, I discovered the buteyko method online. Implementing that into my life helped to improve my breathing and made it possible for me to consider going back to school. It also brought me out the fight or flight mode that I had been in 24/7 for years. For the first time in years, I wanted to get to know people again. If you remember, Z visited me when he was in Seattle. I freaked when he said he was coming.......I freaked whenever someone approached me. I used to walk down the alleys to avoid people. If someone was stupid enough to flirt with me, I would pack up my stuff and split. If I got invited to a party, I might get as far as the house only to turn around and go home. This was 180º opposite of the way I had been before I was diagnosed with PSTD. Before PSTD, I had lots of friends, was in a relationship and liked meeting new people........very extroverted. In addition not be able to breathe has really cut into my confidence. BTW ask Z how many times we got out of the car when he was here. Having PSTD means I have a panic attack every time I go somewhere new. Having PSTD means I experience crippling anxiety going on a date. Having PSTD means interviewing people is a virtual nightmare for me. For an interview, I have to go an hour before the interview and slowly work my way to the building where the interview will be held. If for any reason, I end up at the interview with only 5 minutes to spare, I have to cancel it..........my breathing is too labored for me to control. In 1999 I took my GREs and got high 600s on one and a low 700s on the other. I used those GREs when I applied to Western WA's grad program. In the middle of the program after I had been accepted, they decided those GREs weren't current enough and I had to take them over. If I didn't do well enough, I would get kicked out of the program. During the GRE testing the second time, I panicked and thought I would run out of time. I ended up with scores in the low 500s........previously, I never had any SAT or GRE score lower than the low 600s. During school, I stopped doing the buteyko exercises for a number of reasons I won't go into. Slowly my breathing started to worsen again..........it had never gotten normal but it had improved enough that I could function with groups of people. As my breathing worsened, my anxiety attacks increased and became stronger. Two years ago, I went to see another pulmonologist. He said because of my repeated episodes of bronchitis my lungs had become badly scarred and that my condition had worsened; that I now have COPD which is a combination of asthma, bronchitis and emphyzema. I resumed the buteyko method in April and had been improving until a week ago when I began coughing inexplicably and have not stopped for 8 days. Naturally, I am very worried about this new twist. BTW I have seen three different psychologists and a psychiatrist trying to deal with the aftermath of PSTD. Thank God I was not afraid to see someone about the disorder. I recognize that I have given you way TMI. But its important that you understand that shit happens to people who are not doing anything wrong or who are not fukkups. Before the bad times, I was a six figure kind of guy.....very successful......could get a job in LA simply by picking up the phone....honest and capable.......extremely healthy. The worst thing that had ever happened to me is I got the flu once. Now I am a mess.....the money is running out......yes I lived below my means in LA and invested wisely.....but last year killed me financially. Its not likely I will be homeless but I am in a very precarious position financially. I am praying daily that the buteyko method will improve my situation enough so that I can work again. The longest I can be in a room with carpeting is 3-4 hours before I begin to wheeze and my lungs close up. That makes finding a job very hard. Think about it.......carpeting is ubiquitous. It interfered with my student teaching.....many schools now are carpeted in the Seattle area. It took three interviews before I could find a school without carpeting. Bottomline: I am disabled. I could not admit that to myself until 3 months ago. My computer has been my lifeline. Fortunately, I have started to make friends again........very cautiously, when I feel I can trust them, I let them know about my asthma. My old personality is coming through. However, the big thing is work.......stock trading ain't cutting it. I have to find a part time job. So frankly, I don't need all of you giving me shit on that issue. TIA.