just in in-tray, per universal suffrage creed
Subject: WHY THE USA IS IN SUCH A MESS
A DC airport travel agent offers some examples of 'why' USA is in a terrible mess!
1 . I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window (On an airplane!) .
2 . I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Capetown . I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts . ''
Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Capetown is in S . Africa" .
''His response -- click .
3 . A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida package we did . I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando He said he was expecting an ocean-view room . I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state .
He replied, "Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!'' (OMG)
4 . I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada ?''
I said, ''No . '' She said, ''But they look so close on the map . '' (OMG, again!)
5 . An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas . I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas . When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time . '' (Aghhhh)
6 . An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week . She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a . m . , and got to Chicago at 8:33 a . m . I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones . Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that .
7 . A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?'
He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight . I think that's very rude!''
After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it . (I was dying laughing) . I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , Ca . is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage . .
8 . A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?''
9 . I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright (D) from Alabama who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?'' I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them . ''
10 . Senator Dianne Feinstein (D) called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane .
She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''
11 . Mary Landrieu (D) La . Senator called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa .
'Oh, no I don't . I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those . ''
I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa . When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!''
12 . A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations,
''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York . ''
I was at a loss for words . Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''
'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man .
After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere . "
''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is . Check your map!''
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo , do you?''
The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal . ''
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