The IPCC's Love Guru: You can’t make this stuff up.
Rajendra Pachauri was apparently too busy to check into glaciergate problems in December. We now know why. Instead of proofreading climate articles, Pachauri has been busy launching a softcore novel about the sexual adventures of a climate expert in his late 60s.
( WUWT here, Telegraph here, Indian Times here. The Telegraph:
Return to Almora, published in Dr Pachauri’s native India earlier this month, tells the story of Sanjay Nath, an academic in his 60s reminiscing on his “spiritual journey” through India, Peru and the US.
On the way he encounters, among others, Shirley MacLaine, the actress, who appears as a character in the book. While relations between Sanjay and MacLaine remain platonic, he enjoys sex – a lot of sex – with a lot of women.
In breathless prose that risks making Dr Pachauri, who will be 70 this year, a laughing stock among the serious, high-minded scientists and world leaders with whom he mixes, he details sexual encounter after sexual encounter.
The book, which makes reference to the Kama Sutra, starts promisingly enough as it tells the story of a climate expert with a lament for the denuded mountain slopes of Nainital, in northern India, where deforestation by the timber mafia and politicians has “endangered the fragile ecosystem”.
The Telegraph continues:
But talk of “denuding” is a clue of what is to come.
By page 16, Sanjay is ready for his first liaison with May in a hotel room in Nainital. “She then led him into the bedroom,” writes Dr Pachauri.
“She removed her gown, slipped off her nightie and slid under the quilt on his bed… Sanjay put his arms around her and kissed her, first with quick caresses and then the kisses becoming longer and more passionate.
“May slipped his clothes off one by one, removing her lips from his for no more than a second or two.
“Afterwards she held him close. ‘Sandy, I’ve learned something for the first time today. You are absolutely superb after meditation. Why don’t we make love every time immediately after you have meditated?’.”
More follows, including Sanjay and friends queuing to have sexual encounters with Sajni, an impoverished but willing local: “Sanjay saw a shapely dark-skinned girl lying on Vinay’s bed. He was overcome by a lust that he had never known before … He removed his clothes and began to feel Sajni’s body, caressing her voluptuous breasts.”
Sadly for Sanjay, writes Dr Pachauri, “the excitement got the better of him, before he could even get started”.
While teaching meditation to women in the US, Sanjay can once more barely contain his ardour. Again, breasts – usually heaving or else voluptuous – are thrust to the fore.
“He enjoyed the sensation of gently pushing Susan’s shoulders back a few inches, an action that served to lift her breasts even higher,” writes Dr Pachauri. “He was excited by the sight of her heaving breasts, as she breathed in and out deeply.”
A friend of Susan is taken to a motel by Sanjay but only after he has fondled her breasts – “which he just could not let go of” – inadvertently sounding the car horn at the same time.
Other passages in the novel involve group sex and more risqué sexual practices.
The novel was launched amid much fanfare with Bollywood stars and wealthy industrialists in attendance, a reflection of Dr Pachauri’s esteemed status in the country.
In breaking news, Vivid Entertainment has bought the film rights to the IPCC Fourth Assessment Report. They plan to give new meaning to the terms Working Group 1, Working Group 2 and Working Group 3. They promise to give “peer review” an entirely new interpretation.
climateaudit.org
IPCC: climbers magazine, student dissertation in, sex novels out
The U.K. Times have found out that Rajendra Pachauri was directly lying when he claimed that he had only known about the wrongness of the Himalayan statement for a few days. In fact, he had known the truth for months - and I would guess that almost certainly for years.
By the way, the IPCC boss uses a car with a driver to drive to his office (1 mile).
Greenpeace used a specific scientific method to estimate the melting of the glaciers. The scientists above figured out that the ice was melting beneath their feet. Picture: Spencer Tunick
Meanwhile, The Telegraph found out that the statement about the Himalayan glaciers was actually one of the more scientifically supported IPCC claims.
Corresponding statements about the ice in Andes, Alps, and Africa were based on an impression of a mountaineer (Mark Bowen, who is still grateful to Gavin Schmidt for having promoted his $0.25 book, Thin Ice, on RealClimate.ORG) who gave an interview to a climbers' magazine ;-) (Climbing 2002), and on a dissertation written by a Swiss geography student at the University of Bern working on his or her Master degree (or equivalent). :-)
Return to Almora
Warning: the following part of the text contains snippets of text written by the boss of the U.N. climate panel which means that readers below 15 or 18 years should go elsewhere.
The proud author of the novel. He has already led the writing of the 4th IPCC report, but this soft porn book is so far the only book he has authored that is not based purely on fiction.
Finally, Rajendra Pachauri has already managed to find a new job and it is very appropriate for him. No, he won't return to the railways: he will Return to Almora. At least, that's the title of his first smutty novel about a climate scientist in the 1960s who is disturbed by the climate change in the mountains but who primarily "enjoys sex - a lot of sex - with a lot of women."
“He enjoyed the sensation of gently pushing Susan’s shoulders back a few inches, an action that served to lift her breasts even higher,” writes Dr Pachauri. “He was excited by the sight of her heaving breasts, as she breathed in and out deeply.”
As you can see, Rajendra Pachauri is the hottest candidate for his second Nobel prize, the 2010 Nobel prize for literature: the book is the #8 bestseller in fiction, too. Besides lots of sex, faithful IPCC readers may also find Kama Sutra and reincarnation in the book.
By the way, it is not clear from the excerpts whether Susan, one of Pachauri's numerous breasty partners in the novel, is called Susan Solomon - who just discovered that changes of the H2O concentration in the atmosphere are important for the climate. Congratulations, Susan. Sorry if I haven't fully described the shape and size of Susan's breasts from the novel. Here's a full wording:
“While teaching meditation to women in the US, Sanjay can once more barely contain his ardour. Again, breasts – usually heaving or else voluptuous – are thrust to the fore.”
Well, Susan is almost certainly a U.S. citizen but it could still have been a member of a different working group, of course. You know, peer review is a complicated process and many men and women are involved.
Pachauri also plans to become a sex symbol with the blind women because they have almost all the skills needed for them to reach the scientific consensus that Pachauri is an irresistibly attractive sex bomb: the only extra task that Pachauri will have to solve will be to hide the decline but let's hope that he will find a trick to do so and Sanjay's shaft will once again look like a hockey stick, confirming that their science is very robust. I think it's fair to say that this book proves that Pachauri is not only a liar but a f***ing liar. ;-)
See The Telegraph, The India Times, CA, and WUWT. Read a positive review of the book.
Collapse of the AGW movement
Philip Stott wrote a nice article about the speed, depth, and consequences of the ongoing collapse of the AGW fear mongering movement. While I am not 100% certain that this stuff is over, the dynamics really looks dramatic and we should think what it will mean if the evolution continues in the same direction as in the most recent 2 months, celebrate the good consequences, and be ready to counteract some inevitable negative consequences, too (e.g. for the trustworthiness of all of science in the decades to come).
The #1 leading Irish champion of AGW alarm has admitted that this war seems to be lost for the panic movement. Meanwhile, some hardcore AGW warriors whose career fully depends on the hysteria, such as Ed Miliband, are playing the role of the most faithful Germans during the 1945 Battle of Berlin. He not only refuses to revert his life but he wants to fight against the dangerous "deniers" until the last droplet of his blood. Don't be ludicrous, Ed.
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