To: Terry Maloney who wrote (401072 ) 2/14/2010 11:29:47 AM From: Broken_Clock 1 Recommendation Respond to of 436258 They hate us for our freedoms. -g- --- > Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning > submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are > asked to supply alternative meanings for common words. > > The winners are: > > 1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs. > > 2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have > gained. > > 3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. > > 4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. > > 5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent. > > 6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent- > mindedly answer the door in your nightgown. > > 7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. > > 8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash. > > 9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you > are run over by a steamroller. > > 10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. > > 11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. > > 12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by > proctologists. > > 13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist. > > 14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with > Yiddishisms. > > 15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief > that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck > there. > > 16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn > by Jewish men. > > > The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take > any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or > changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this > year's winners: > > 1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops > bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, > shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. > > 2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the > purpose of getting laid. > > 3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the > subject financially impotent for an indefinite period. > > 4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. > > 5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and > the person who doesn't get it. > > 6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are > running late. > > 7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness. > > 8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra > credit.) > > 9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all > these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes > and it's like, a serious bummer. > > 10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day > consuming only things that are good for you. > > 11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action. > > 12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem > smarter when they come at you rapidly. > > 13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after > you've accidentally walked through a spider web. > > 14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into > your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. > > 15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub > in the fruit you're eating. > > And the pick of the literature: > > 16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.