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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Pami who wrote (3785)	11/4/1997 10:02:00 PM
From: Dan Good	Respond to of 62547

Here's one you can tell your class... There was a frog that wanted to fix up his "pad" and needed 5 bucks for improvements. So he went to his neighborhood bank and asked Patti Black, the loan officer, for a loan. She told him she would be glad to give him a loan but he needed some collateral. He didn't exactly know what she meant, but figured he needed something worth 5 bucks for her to hold while he could pay off his loan. Looking around his pad, he could only come up with a small Statue of Liberty momento he got from his last vacation. He brought it to Patti. She was somewhat confused on what to do with it, so she brought it to the bank president. Explaining to the Boss that the frog wanted a loan and brought in a statue, she asked him what it was. So he told her... Its a knick knack, Patti Black, give the frog a loan.

To: Pami who wrote (3785)	11/4/1997 10:10:00 PM
From: Cheeky Kid	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62547

Microsoft (to the tune of "Jingle Bells") Nine-tenths of a gig, Biggest ever seen, God, this program's big-- MS Word 15! Comes on ten CDs, And requires--damn! Word is fine, but jeez-- 60 megs of RAM?! Oh! Microsoft, Microsoft, Bloatware all the way! I've sat here installing Word Since breakfast yesterday! Oh! Microsoft, Microsoft, Moderation, please. Guess you hadn't noticed: Four-gig drives don't grow on trees!

To: Pami who wrote (3785)	11/5/1997 12:24:00 AM
From: Roy Cetlin	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62547

Dear Pam: Hate to be a pain in the neck - but I followed your instructions and pasted a gif into my profile on SI. I went back in - the link was there, but I couldn't access it - what did I do wrong. Thanks for your help - Another Zany Way to Order a Pizza Tell the operator that you are accepting offers from the lowest bidder.

To: Pami who wrote (3785)	12/3/1997 7:31:00 AM
From: Kip518	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62547

An American journalist had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War, and she had noted then that women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands. She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives. She approached one of the women for an explanation. "This is marvelous," said the journalist. "What enabled women here to achieve this reversal of roles?" Replied the Kuwaiti woman, "Land mines."