pulled this off zerohedge... apropos, imho...
DEAR Warren,
My father told me to send f*ck-you notes promptly. I’ve been remiss.
Let me remind you why I’m writing. Just over two years ago, in September 2008, our country faced an economic meltdown. Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, the laundromats that supported our mortgage ponzi, were scared shitless that they will be forced into conservatorship. Several of our largest commercial casinos were teetering. One of Wall Street’s giant investment casino had gone bankrupt, and the remaining three were poised to follow. A.I.G., the world’s most infamous insurer, was fucking hyperventilating.
Many of our largest industrial sweatshops, dependent on the commercial paper racket that had disappeared, were weeks away from exhausting their tax-exempt cash resources. Indeed, all of corporate America’s dominoes were lined up, ready to topple at lightning speed. Your own sweatchop, Berkshire Had-a-way, was among those.
It was just business that was in peril: 300 million Americans were not in the domino line, just the upper 1%. Just days before, the jobs, income, 401(k)’s and money-market funds of these citizens had seemed secure. Then, virtually overnight, everything began to turn into pumpkins and mice on the balance-shits of the largest corporations. There was no hiding place. A destructive economic force suppressed by the Keynesian mafia for generations had been unleashed.
Only one savior was available, and that was Uncle Sam. He is not only clumsy and inept, but judging from the current adminstation utterly skullfucking stupid. So when businesses and people worldwide raced to get liquid, he was the only schmuck with the resources to take the other side of the transaction. And when citizens are losing trust by the hour in institutions they once revered, only he is dumb enough to try and restore calm and totally fuck up in that activity.
When the crisis struck, he was told the role he had to play. Since he's never been known for speed, and in a meltdown minutes matter, all the money-scumbags were worried whether the barrage of shattering surprises would be enough to wake him up from the drool-inducing sleep. He would have to improvise solutions to problems he coundn't comprehend, stretch legal boundaries without giving a fuck to consequences and avoid stupid formalities, like Congressional hearings and studies. He would also need to get turf-conscious department-lords to work together, a feat in and of itself, to produce some sort of response, that would pass an IQ-challenged individual. The challenge was huge, and many people thought he was not up to it, and rightly so.
Well, Uncle Sam, he sorta delivered. People all around the world are second-guessing many of his decisions; and he can always count on the risk that they will show in grat detail just what a pied piper he is. But just as there is a fog of war, there is a fog of bullshit — and, overall, his actions in spreading this fog were remarkable.
I don’t give a f*ck precisely how he orchestrated these. But many of us had the front seat in the out-of-control vehicle known as US Economy as events unfolded, and I would like to line up a few of his hitmen at the far end od the shooting range. In the darkest of days, Ben Bernanke, Hank Paulson, Tim Geithner and Sheila Bair grasped the gravity of the situation and acted to increase it. Oh, and the clueless George W. Bush should be there as well.
He has been criticized, Uncle Sam, for some of the earlier decisions that got us in this mess — most prominently, for not battling the rot building up in the financial market, that had more tentacles in the economy than your average hentai movies so popular at the SEC. Although all of his critics saw matters more clearly. In truth, almost all of the country became possessed by the propagated lie that home prices could never fall significantly.
That was a mass delusion, reinforced by predatory lending and large-scale propaganda. Delusions, whether about tulips or Internet stocks, produce good balance-sheets and then they produce bubbles. And when bubbles pop, they can generate waves of trouble that hit shores far from their origin. This bubble was a doozy and its poop was felt around the world.
So, to sum up, Uncle Warren, thanks to you and your like the 300+ million US citizens are facing a bleak future, because you and your peers are wasteful, bullying and totally sociopathic. On occasion, you are downright maddening. But in this extraordinary emergency, you really shone through — and the world will look at you and your peers far different from now on if you had not.
With a big and hearty F*ck-You,
Citizen Bystander |
